Reporting Abuse

By the way, for those who write to the abuse address, please provide the url of the alleged abuse. I’m not going looking for it. Its easy enough, select the address bar, press CTRL-C and then CTRL-V into your mail message.

Abuse mails that say ‘I object to XXX diary because it has a reference to me’ without giving details will probably be ignored. Please provide the URL.


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  1. hmm..I don’t quite know what to say…
    I’m sorry it’s come to a decision like this..
    is it really about the money..or is it about the childish games?
    ..if it’s soley about the parodies..then maybe you can attach a program that reports the diary users IP number for everyone to see.
    soon parody diaries will be identified will multiple diaries..
    just a suggestion.
    I personally wouldn’t like to see the diary become a pay only site..
    this is from a selfish position..
    I don’t have the money to pay for it.. 🙁
    obviously the decision is yours to make..

  2. This is just a suggestion. I agree that this is ridiculous. So what if you did this???

    Make it so that anyone who has more than one diary has to either state in their diaries what their usernames are, or else make one of them private?? Like for example, lets say that there are 2 deardiary admin diaries, a 1 and a 2. deardiary1 has to put something on the menu bar that they are also deardiary2 and vice versa, or make on of them private???

    I don’t know if that would help, just trying to find a way to "stop the madness!!!"

  3. All those options sound a little too drastic for me, I think the best option is to just delete the offending person’s account, and ban them from using DD, there are ways to do that, so that they can’t click on anyone’s diary comments button to try to leave messages, via cookies, or whatever.
    I know in a lot of chat rooms, they can trace offensive people by ip addy, and immediately lock them out by way of a cookie.
    Too bad there is not a way to get everyone who comes to leave a comment to have to fill out a form first with a valid e-mail address , name and password… then they can leave comments. Send an email to them to confirm who they are,and from there, anytime they want to leave a comment, they must sign in with their username and password!
    No one can annonymously leave messages then, and you can block them later if you need to.
    Better to block the babies, until they learn to grow up some, than to punish everyone .
    By the way, thank you guys for e-mailing back so quickly, and also , I just got my first SQL & PL/SQL certification! (4 more to go!)

  4. K i didn’t understand the second entry…

    *stands up an applauds the first one*

    I am sorry it has come to this :o(
    Why can’t ppl just get along…
    An if they can’t do that…
    Then quit slanderin others?
    Is that so hard to do?
    An r the rules so hard to understand?
    I don’t think so!

    *snuggles for a kewl team*


  5. *agress with castle mistress* Why let a few of the bad apples spoil the bunch. Maybe the first offense, 3 days block. Second time ban. Up to you. That way people would know your serious, yet you wouldn’t be hurting us that are minding are owns. And on the second entry, wow, only 15 bucks. LOt of impressions though. Anywho, hope you admins come up with something that won’t hurt the rest of us. Best wishes, bye.

  6. Or maybe you should do another diary category: Assholes & co. into which all the diaries that are about flaming other writers would be automatically moved. Ha!

  7. I really don’t have any answers, computer illiterate as I am, lol. I’m just sorry that you all have had to deal with this mess. I’m not one to talk negative about any diarist but admit to using diarist’s names thanking them for a kind word or something to that effect in my diary. I would hate for someone to complain about me if I’ve spoken kindly of them, but I guess that could happen to, you never know about people these days. You all have told us to get permission from the diarists regardless of what our intentions are and we’ve failed to do that (me included, I’m sorry to say). From this day on though, you won’t need to worry about this diarist’s using anyone’s name without their permission. Anyway, I hate that you’ve had to resort to this but I think something needed to be done. Whether or not it’s the right route to take, I don’t know, but I appauld your decision myself.


  8. Thank you for watching out for the good guy’s at DD. I think you guy’s chose the best option and you are great. Have a great rest of the weekend.

  9. Hi Guys!
    I did leave some comments on one of the diaries the other day which was taking the p*** out of the rest of us. They mentioned people who i communicate with, and I was so angry!

    Since I left two comments on there, no one else has written anymore and no more diary entries have appeared!

    Only caught up with this Sunday, as I’ve been away, as my regular readers will know!

    We can do without people like this on the system.


  10. i agree with noo noo!

    lol..actually, i think that just deleting flaming entries is a good idea..i know that usually when i write a entry like that (kinda like yesterday!) i do it in anger and after a few hours i delete it anyway.

    well..i hope you guys can calm down now..take care


  11. Hmmm..

    What about those of us who address an entry to certain other diarist but it isn’t in a bad way? Or even just answering someone’s comments with information?

    I’m hoping this option doesn’t include that at all.


  12. What if I just hate someone? Can I email the abuse address and demand that you remove their diary and/or take them to court and prosecute them?

    Would you even read the email or would you just delete my diary immediately?

  13. Don’t blame you a bit. I don’t follow any of that bullshit myself, when I am referencing anyone else it is in a kind way for instance today thanking someone for their ideas on home improvement. You have gotten "drawn in" by this crap. Remember the Serenity Prayer. Don’t worry so much about other people’s worries, just do what you can and don’t allow it to get to you. You have control over that portion – step back a bit and take a deep breathe. Life’s too short for that stuff. If people’s feelings are getting hurt, well I say it’s their problem and not yours. Yours is putting the site up and managing it and you are doing a wonderful job of it.

  14. hm. i would have opted for #3, but whatever, its a free service, i’ll take what i can get.
    snot like i get involved in these stupidities anyway.

  15. There are many of us that use this web site quietly and in our own way. I would guess there is a small minority of people who are linked through this site and they are the ones whose diaries are most popular.
    I would hate to see this site dissapear because of a few kids who couldnt keep it in their pants.
    I vote for just deleting their diaries and thats that.

  16. Dear Les, Matt and Steve,

    I’m sorry to know that the situation here has driven even Matt so far up the wall that he’s pissed off. I’m surprised by this post because until I read the entry from Buggie’s diary today, I had no idea that any of this type of stuff was going on. Parody diaries of real diaries and otherwise – that’s really going out of your way to hurt and venge yourself on another person. I guess that the more precautions we’ve installed – like blocking comments and requiring usernames to leave comments and such – people have found ways to get around that and still pursue their adversary.

    I like and respect all of you who run dear diary, and thus I wish that I could say I think that option 4 is going to be the right one, but I do not. I can see it causing you a lot more anguish than it solves. I have written about, in my time, a certain person who was the center of my world, my thoughts and otherwise for a long period of time, and in the long run I found out that I didn’t like him very much. He was a friend and lover, and I talked about him because he was critical to my life. Let’s say that he creates a diary here, and then complains that I am writing about him and I am not allowed to write about another diarist on dear diary? If I write about my Mother, and she creates a diary and doesn’t want me to have any entries that mention her – will those all be erased? How can someone keep a diary and *not* talk about their Mothers?

    Or let’s say that I made a reference to another diarist 10 months ago in my diary and now, with this new law, he wants that old entry deleted to enforce the new rule. You could have a lot of problems, going through the erasing entries because someone out there is offended.

    Personally, I think that you have to control the site as best you can, and I’m very sorry that its become such an ordeal for you. However, I didn’t even know this was happening, and I’m sure there are many other people who use this service who have no idea about the abuse that’s happening and find it very confusing and, I’m sad to say, <b>insulting</b> to be called spoken to in the way of the posts above. I am not a child who needs someone to change my nappies, and most of the people who use this service aren’t. If you could spare the tone and the insults for those of us who don’t create parody diaries or abuse the system, we’d appreciate it.

    I use Dear Diary as its supposed to be used, I am certainly not a whiney and complainy customer of yours, and I pay for the service because I enjoy it and appreciate your hard work and want the site to be continue. However, I am not comfortable with overt censorship. If I read another person’s diary, and it makes me think of something, then I might mention them when I write my own entry. If someone doesn’t want this to happen, then all the diaries should be private anyway, so we don’t read about and become involved in each others lives. Or even just mildly interested in each others lives.

    The tantalition of Dear Diary is taht you can read another person’s diary and peek into their private lives. The diaries are made public, so there’s a subtle invitation into reading them. And obviously people should treat other’s diaries with respect. I know taht hasn’t always happened to me, because there are punks out there who like to say mean things or otherwise, or they get their jollies out of anonymously creating chaos online. However, if people are not going to be inspired by, interested in, moved or otherwise curious and involved in another diarists lives – the only way to accomplish that is to make the diaries themselves private, which would defeat the purpose of the site.

    My favorite option – find the idiots, the theives and the law breakers and put them in jail. Remove them from the mess. See if it gets better. Like others have suggested, you can block people from this site. I would prefer it if you used your own judgement and deleted the accounts of people who are obviously using their diaries or dear diary accounts to attack, hurt or make fun of the real users rather than threaten to remove dear diary even from those of us who love and pay for the service.

    – Psyche

  17. Um, this is probably a stupid idea, but someone once mentioned that a lot of the rotten-apple-gang seem to be doing these parody diaries and flame fests to get in the top 10. May the top 10 thing should be discontinued? Less of a temptation then.

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