Perfect Picture
Fri Aug 27 2004

Sitting in front of a blank screen. Feeling a little “arty”. A screen is a canvas, where I am about to paint my picture. I am looking out for some colours and a brush…And I am thinking…Of what I’d like to paint. My life, perhaps? Or just a tiny bit of my mind? Either way – it’s a thoughts being caught and pinned with the words. It’s not the real 3D-dimensional illusion, just unsophisticated flat painting…So not really the real thing, isn’t it? But at least – it will be mine…

I would put a foundation into that picture. A Love and a Kindness. I might be one of those incorrigible dreamers, but I still believe in those. I try to remember to love and to be kind, even when there is urge to hate. I can’t manage it sometimes…Nobody’s perfect…

I’ll add few colourful strokes of hope and faith. Not too much, coz I don’t want the picture to appear too mixed up.

In the middle of that picture will be – I. I look at my photo – I don’t like how I look on photographs…Even often I can’t believe that it is me on there. I used to see myself differently. Guess, we all do. But that’s the way human’s sensors work – eyes will see what’s on outside, hearts - inside.

I wonder if this is true, that in afterlife all souls will be free and then we will see each other “naked”. Sometimes in a moment of despair I wish that we could make this happened in our realm. But maybe then we would be scared away with what we saw…

I will paint myself the way I see me. The way I like me and the way I am – me. (hmmmm..might turn out to be not such a pretty picture after all…lol) nah – of course it’ll be Perfect!

Being there, in the middle of a picture, actually means, that despite of any thing I still have some good thoughts about myself, which is good, right? Maybe – a little selfish, but hey – you’ve got to love someone, what’s wrong if that someone is – you?!

Now – got to be careful here, as its time to smudge a bit that bubble of illusions of mine, make it paler and lighter. Don’t need too much of these anymore. Getting older brings advantage…

Well, not much left to add now – only few brush waves here and there of seriousness, flippancy, impatience, reasoning, naivety, wit and invariable fairness. A few drops of tears, perhaps and a little cute smile in the corner…Its amazes me that when it comes to say few words about yourself, suddenly all the words have gone into hiding…Am I that unfamiliar with me or just refuse to recognise certain things?

Anyway – the picture is almost ready, as it’s up to imagination of the viewer to fill in missing details. Frame this into the borders of responsibilities and – there you go – a Perfect Picture.

[hammeres in a big thick Nail and hangs the Picture. Steps back and admires for a second. Then takes it down and into recycling bin]
"If you can't be a good example, you'll have to be a terrible warning." (~Catherine Aird)
;-)

2 Comments
  • From:
    Labyrinth (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Aug 27 2004
    Lol. Very picturesque. You actually had me on hold there like I was watching you while you actually paint. You wouldnt be a boring painter, I tell you. Lol.

    Here's my take about our life as a canvass. I have kept this in my openfiction site cuz i loved what i wrote:

    I am actually looking at the canvass of my life right now. I hold in my hand a brush and is trying to mix the different hues. I always go for pastels. It gives me a feeling of lightness and joy. It exudes an atmosphere of order and peace.

    But sometimes I get to erroneously mix a combination that do not match and it produces gray. Even if I try to add more yellow or white to it, it still is gray. In desperation I tried to mix blue and it became black. Frustration sets in and I set the painting aside. Leaving the canvas of my life unfinished....

    I do know now that I need dark shades to it to enhance the brighter ones. Yes, life needs to have contrasts of colors in order for it to be more appreciated.

    I look at my life and wonder if I will see that art come into its final touches soon....And if it does, I wonder if it is even worth a space in a gallery, worth viewing.... worth emulating.

    But I doubt it. I really dunno.... I am wishing....

    Orient:)
  • From:
    Bubbles1956 (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Aug 27 2004
    Cute entry, I still have a blank canvas. I have no idea where to start but I do know this, if I have to paint ME there, I need a make over! bahaha. I like your sytle, can I borrow some? I guess the truth is, if I had to paint a picture of my life, there would not be much room for me there, it would be full of everyone else I have met through my life that makes me who I am now.

    Internet Mom