It feels the way like I am just about catch my own thoughts, but in reality - I can’t. I am catching someone else’s emotions instead…And the luck of “self-concentration” makes the whole perception be in sort of “half-tones”, grey scale or something…A whole World of Shadows…Like – you can see shapes becoming apparent, but when trying to reach for them – they lifeless…
Such net-climate causes me to give up any attempts to formulate my own thoughts, but instead – to browse for those of others. Poetry is my Escape Burrow. Poetry and music. Interesting what ways for dealing with blue moods other ppl have? What helps you cope with almost-surfaced-no-particular-reason tears?
I don’t really think, that one should force himself to fight against such moods – sometimes it’s better to be sad a little to let go emotions, then to struggle with them. I would compare this with draining effect. Just like in the past centuries medics used to prescribe bloodletting to “release bad things from your blood” [Of course all is good within reasonable limits]
I can tell for myself: in such moments I would be listening to the music, most likely – pick up one song and let it loop through my mind until I no longer can hear the words, but – feel them in my blood…Crrrrrrrrrrrrrazy, huh? …Sometimes I would also search for a poem. The one with perfect fit. If found one – that brings me some comfort too…
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for the last hour or so my song is – “Change The World” by Eric Clapton, my consoler -poem - by Marina Tsvetaeva, (written in 1914!):
I don't think, don't complain, don't argue.
Don't sleep.
Don't strive either for the sun, or the moon, or the sea,
Or the ship.
Don't feel how hot it is inside these walls,
How green it is in the garden.
I haven't been expecting the desired gift
For a long time.
Neither the morning nor the bright run of the tram
Make me happy.
I live not noticing the day, forgetting
The date and the century.
On this partially severed rope
I--a small dancer.
I--a shadow of somebody's shadow. I-- a lunatic
Of the two dark moons.