People we meet in our life…there is that saying, that everything that happens, happens for a reason…I’ve been told not once, that with every one we meet along our way, we learn a lesson…something of a value…of a knowledge that we have not had before… and for that we remember them for the rest of our life…I can count lessons I’ve learned and I remember all The Teachers. But today another thought pierced my mind…what is a lesson that I’ve been teaching to the others? What could I possibly pass on, imprint in another’s mind…what the memories of me might be?..And while I can think of some for some…the general purpose of my existence escapes my understanding…there is time when it feels as if there weren’t any…Somehow it is hard to believe in the tales of gifts. Gifts are useless if you don’t know what to do with them…if they don’t enrich with the knowledge or with set of useful skills…or just with hope…I have had many gifts like that…yet I failed to find what my own is…there is a despair in realisation that I might never know…or that I might not have any…at least it feels this way…Just that kind of mood swing, you know…The music of this evening is instrumental…with the cry of violins and languishing moans of cellos…and gentle silvery peals of wind chimes…Sorry for switching off comments, this is to avoid kind words of reassurance. They are not what I need tonight…This is simply a re-action over a thought…a search for the right words.