I never thought the weekends could be so “unlooked forward”…the working week slips by way easier...and I have to get out of those weekend’s habits that have grown up on me over the years…when your first thought on awakening is about cooking weekend breakfast, it is sobering to realise that you can shout “hey” with all your might and your empty house won’t answer you…what was the point again?…keeping balance…between the reality and your memory of what reality should’ve been…to stay cool and be calm and be kind to yourself…and learn to love your weekends again...
It is still too emotional…any little something, even a telephone talk about general, very general nothings, sets off disturbance in the waters…Imagine you stand on a shaky surface…a moving train or something…holding a glass of water…filled to the edge…careful not to spill it out…the train of my life is moving on and I found myself standing with the glass in my hands…full of my emotions, good and bad ones, tears and laughter…I have no courage to lift a glass and splash them out so that I can start to fill it again with the new…why…it is all about balance…a thin line between the calm and frenzy…a little shake up is all that needed to set the uncontrollable free and wild…so I am keeping the balance…a fragile status of evenly distributed pain&pleasure all in one glass…don’t dare to breath, to move, to look around…you might be tempted to say boo, to poke, to startle, to push so that I can finally loose my glass and break free from the false balance…but this is the only one I’ve got, you see...a welcomed peace-pretend but after the previous emotional storm it is truly is what is needed….a break of quiet…and it feels nice when it is undisturbed, even if at a price of staying motionless…it feels good to be able to feel the grounds of reality…where I stand…this is my reality, this is my life, this is me…to let go of the rope I’m holding on to sounds like insane offer… Letting go of reality…as if she has a switch one can turn off and in the darkness to find a way again…as if she can be painted over with the white colour of the new beginnings…as if she can be swiped under the rug and stepped over and left behind as one walks away from the home...never look back…letting go of reality for a time…or for the rest of eternity…
It is still too emotional…any little something, even a telephone talk about general, very general nothings, sets off disturbance in the waters…Imagine you stand on a shaky surface…a moving train or something…holding a glass of water…filled to the edge…careful not to spill it out…the train of my life is moving on and I found myself standing with the glass in my hands…full of my emotions, good and bad ones, tears and laughter…I have no courage to lift a glass and splash them out so that I can start to fill it again with the new…why…it is all about balance…a thin line between the calm and frenzy…a little shake up is all that needed to set the uncontrollable free and wild…so I am keeping the balance…a fragile status of evenly distributed pain&pleasure all in one glass…don’t dare to breath, to move, to look around…you might be tempted to say boo, to poke, to startle, to push so that I can finally loose my glass and break free from the false balance…but this is the only one I’ve got, you see...a welcomed peace-pretend but after the previous emotional storm it is truly is what is needed….a break of quiet…and it feels nice when it is undisturbed, even if at a price of staying motionless…it feels good to be able to feel the grounds of reality…where I stand…this is my reality, this is my life, this is me…to let go of the rope I’m holding on to sounds like insane offer… Letting go of reality…as if she has a switch one can turn off and in the darkness to find a way again…as if she can be painted over with the white colour of the new beginnings…as if she can be swiped under the rug and stepped over and left behind as one walks away from the home...never look back…letting go of reality for a time…or for the rest of eternity…