It was just a tiny step over last formality, a giant leap into unknown future. It was one last step needed to complete this journey and be over with it. Today I’ve signed the divorce papers. In a month time they’ll become effective. We arranged that I won’t have to do anything more about it. I’ve just signed all the paperwork and in a month time he will take care of it himself. It is a relief that I don’t have to be involved in technicalities; I have enough to deal with as it is. Personally I didn’t care if I am officially divorced or not, since it doesn’t change anything in my current situation. But he asked for it. He needs it. I have no intentions to make it hard for him. Everything has been said and done between us anyway. I guess, I can consider myself divorced now, as I know no reason why he wouldn’t do what’s need to be done in a month time. It was easier then I thought it would be…partly because the bureaucratic system in Russian consulate works wonders in pissing visitors off to the effect of them forgetting the true reason of their visit and turning all the anger at the consulate instead. We arrived at 9am and left the consulate around 5pm. And I’ve signed the actual papers in the…pub across the road, where we were spending lunch time break. I hope I am not the only one to see the comical side of this…it was easy enough…by the time we were standing in the final queue, I was already wishing it all to be over! No chance of having second thoughts, as as soon as I imagined going through the same process again, I’d rather be divorced immediately, thank you very much. It’s less painful this way. So, thank you, Russian consulate for motivating me to do what I have come to do. It was easier then all my sleepless nights and everything else involved in the process of accepting it’s happened. It was so easy that it surprised myself too! And it was only when I saw him waving to the bus I was leaving on, the realisation of what just have happened hit me…and here I am…slightly lost in confusion, slowly adjusting to the idea of no longer being called a wife…do I feel pain? I feel Emptiness…no pain today, no…and whatever we will see tomorrow we will deal with when the tomorrow comes…I think, I desperately need some sleep now.