I’ve changed my way of communicating with my friends…it’s kind of happened somewhere on background, I haven’t even noticed…it was not intentional. And in fact, I perceived it as for the best…however, recently something clicked and I saw this matter from another side…
I was always a keen communicator, had a long list of contacts in my mailbox (still have)…I used to love e-mailing each of my friend separately, adding personal touch, mentioning something shared between us, etc…this was eventually replaced by a generic “latest news” messages going out to the lists of friends, as I no longer saw a point to copy&paste the same thing to everybody…of course little personal variations had to go…with time I’ve discovered a “facebook” site (well it is a Russian answer to the famous social networking) and eventually dragged almost all my contacts to use it…what have happened now is that I would just update my page there, throw few photographs to share, maybe send few messages, but overall this has become pretty much the only portal for all my connections…simply because I haven't got much time I can spare for the personal interactions anymore…(do I really? How often do we use the busyness excuse to cover the fact that we have become “detached”?)…
Having mused of this lately I get to think that it is also the “convenience” of such method that makes me to abandon everything else…indeed what could be easier: instead of reaching out to the individuals I can now share whatever I wish with all of them at once…how much easier it can get?..I don’t have to give my time to anyone in particular anymore…the list of friends has become more of a cloud of the visitors to my web page…little personal things that we used to share are no longer required in the context of the “group”…I’ve never thought of it before, but yesterday, when I posted yet another “public update”, it occurred to me that it’s been truly a long time since I sat and write my letters…never used to copy&paste, new friend – new letter; same news, might be same thoughts, yet still improvising in words and feelings…the nostalgic reminiscence pushed me into sentimental mood and I imagined how as time goes by there will be no more special ties between us...no more shared jokes that only we can laugh at, no more secret trigger words between, no more special winks and special meanings to be shared…and, you know, sometimes it seems to me that it is not as much the lack of time which led me this way…it is actually lack of love and lack of respect and a lot of selfishness…which, I guess, means, I’m no longer entitled to expect love and respect in return…These were my thoughts for today…of course they are not a plain whining about what a looser I am, as I am no worse, no better then any one else on the average...there is a metaphor in there somewhere for all those who can find, of course…
I was always a keen communicator, had a long list of contacts in my mailbox (still have)…I used to love e-mailing each of my friend separately, adding personal touch, mentioning something shared between us, etc…this was eventually replaced by a generic “latest news” messages going out to the lists of friends, as I no longer saw a point to copy&paste the same thing to everybody…of course little personal variations had to go…with time I’ve discovered a “facebook” site (well it is a Russian answer to the famous social networking) and eventually dragged almost all my contacts to use it…what have happened now is that I would just update my page there, throw few photographs to share, maybe send few messages, but overall this has become pretty much the only portal for all my connections…simply because I haven't got much time I can spare for the personal interactions anymore…(do I really? How often do we use the busyness excuse to cover the fact that we have become “detached”?)…
Having mused of this lately I get to think that it is also the “convenience” of such method that makes me to abandon everything else…indeed what could be easier: instead of reaching out to the individuals I can now share whatever I wish with all of them at once…how much easier it can get?..I don’t have to give my time to anyone in particular anymore…the list of friends has become more of a cloud of the visitors to my web page…little personal things that we used to share are no longer required in the context of the “group”…I’ve never thought of it before, but yesterday, when I posted yet another “public update”, it occurred to me that it’s been truly a long time since I sat and write my letters…never used to copy&paste, new friend – new letter; same news, might be same thoughts, yet still improvising in words and feelings…the nostalgic reminiscence pushed me into sentimental mood and I imagined how as time goes by there will be no more special ties between us...no more shared jokes that only we can laugh at, no more secret trigger words between, no more special winks and special meanings to be shared…and, you know, sometimes it seems to me that it is not as much the lack of time which led me this way…it is actually lack of love and lack of respect and a lot of selfishness…which, I guess, means, I’m no longer entitled to expect love and respect in return…These were my thoughts for today…of course they are not a plain whining about what a looser I am, as I am no worse, no better then any one else on the average...there is a metaphor in there somewhere for all those who can find, of course…