It sounds like one of those motivational cliché: let them make their own mistakes. But have you ever give it a thought why some sayings do become a cliché? I think there should be a good reason for that. Anyway…
I remember when my son was a toddler, learning to walk and I was there with him, encouraging, offering my hands: come on, come to me, grab my hand, step on the carpet – if you fall, it won’t hurt that much…he used to giggle back and turn the other way, away from me – to him it was a game, a fun, a chase. Eventually he did learn to walk, getting a fair share bruises on his way, still as any baby would do, he learned.
I thought of this when recalled how my first reaction when ex told me he’s gonna leave: you are making a mistake. I meant not even a mistake in regards of changing partners, but more in changing his lifestyle so drastically, all we strived towards together, his desire to work in science field, his degree he achieved, his job he used to be so proud of, as he was one of so very few who stayed in profession through the economical downfall and family demands. And I was so proud of him getting there and his PhD was almost as my own, I’ve been walking along all his paths. To throw this all away now, once he’s got that far felt like the stupidest thing one can do with their life. And it hurt as if he threw away my own achievements too. Well, he did in a way. I hope he is happy with his choice. Though I am not happy with his. I thought that even if it would’ve been any other person doing the same, I still would say to them: you are making a mistake. That doesn’t mean they cannot do it just because I told them so.
Everyone is entitled to their own mistakes, besides, mistakes are so relative. What one sees as an error, wrong perception, plain stupidity, in another’s eyes it could be the best choice they’re making ever. I have learned not to stay on the way. And although it hurts when they make their mistakes, I remind myself that it is only mistake to my eyes. And for another it is action that makes a lot of sense. You can’t go in life without making a mess out of it occasionally. But to each – their own. And I’ve learned to only mind my own mistakes and let the others to make theirs. Otherwise how would they learn...
I remember when my son was a toddler, learning to walk and I was there with him, encouraging, offering my hands: come on, come to me, grab my hand, step on the carpet – if you fall, it won’t hurt that much…he used to giggle back and turn the other way, away from me – to him it was a game, a fun, a chase. Eventually he did learn to walk, getting a fair share bruises on his way, still as any baby would do, he learned.
I thought of this when recalled how my first reaction when ex told me he’s gonna leave: you are making a mistake. I meant not even a mistake in regards of changing partners, but more in changing his lifestyle so drastically, all we strived towards together, his desire to work in science field, his degree he achieved, his job he used to be so proud of, as he was one of so very few who stayed in profession through the economical downfall and family demands. And I was so proud of him getting there and his PhD was almost as my own, I’ve been walking along all his paths. To throw this all away now, once he’s got that far felt like the stupidest thing one can do with their life. And it hurt as if he threw away my own achievements too. Well, he did in a way. I hope he is happy with his choice. Though I am not happy with his. I thought that even if it would’ve been any other person doing the same, I still would say to them: you are making a mistake. That doesn’t mean they cannot do it just because I told them so.
Everyone is entitled to their own mistakes, besides, mistakes are so relative. What one sees as an error, wrong perception, plain stupidity, in another’s eyes it could be the best choice they’re making ever. I have learned not to stay on the way. And although it hurts when they make their mistakes, I remind myself that it is only mistake to my eyes. And for another it is action that makes a lot of sense. You can’t go in life without making a mess out of it occasionally. But to each – their own. And I’ve learned to only mind my own mistakes and let the others to make theirs. Otherwise how would they learn...