There is such thing as "walking mile in another's shoes"...sometimes we have no control over what have happened to our friends, loved ones, to just someone misfortunate in the World. We may feel helpless and this thought may stop us from doing anything, as we know not much we can do...but if in such moments you imagine yourself in another's shoes and ask yourself: if you were – them, what would you feel, which gesture would make you feel better, even if won’t change your situation to the better…sometimes we can only do what we can…but even this might light up someone’s day with a smile and the warmth of the feeling of being loved, being cared about. I’m a strong believer in the power of simple “I’ve been thinking of you”…
Of Cultural Differences.
I don’t think I will ever get used to the different values of the society I’m now a part of. I’m not sure that I’d want to, frankly, for some things are so against my personal values, it’s not negotiable. But I’m aware of the differences and I’m accepting that they exist. And I’m trying to do my best to be tolerable when my own values clash with the generally accepted by everyone else around me. This doesn’t prevent me from thinking that it is a truly sad state of society when one can consider it is normal to pay for a hired help for your disabled parents who live 2000 miles from you instead of taking them to live with you, so that you can give them back all the love and care they gave to their child.
Knowledge We Wish To Have Or Have To Have.
Spent my weekend re-arranging heaters in my house. Long story why I needed it besides, it’s all done now. I’m now learned of how to drill various types of the walls – a very useful skill indeed. In the process got carried away and was inspired to change the shelves in my new study room, as their previous design wasn’t pleasing to that perfectionist-interior-designer in me. I like the new shelf more now. I thought about how it has become so much easier now to think of doing something and just do it. All the 7 previous years that we lived in this house, we never found time for “creating convenient comfort, like, say fixing the radiator to the wall, or working out the most efficient way to heat various rooms in the house, or just to re arrange the furniture to serve its purpose in better way. There were always reasons for not doing it, for postponing, thinking over, taking in consideration, etc…when in fact, it was all as simple as just get up and do it. This is the kind of knowledge I’ve received as a “bargain offer” to the rest of the singleship skills. I think it’s the one of the most important things that I’ve learned.
Know-How Of Choice Making.
It is so blatantly obvious, yet we tend to close our eyes to the logic of it. If you need to make a choice between, choose that which you might not get another chance of. Say, you tend to spend your Sundays cleaning the house, doing household chores, preparing for the next working week. It’s a good settled routine and it generally does not upset you, but makes you feel good once completed, a sort of sense of visible achievement, a “stroke to your self-respect”. Then suddenly you are invited to spend an afternoon strolling in a park. To enjoy the colours of the Fall, to shuffle fallen leaves under your feet, to inhale that unbelievable freshness of the autumn air. So you have a choice what to do with your Sunday. And to some it’s a struggle between the settled routine which brings them peace of mind and a want to be amazed, to indulge their senses in a beauty. To me the choice is so simple: just ask yourself: can I do it tomorrow? And choose what you can’t. There is always space in life for routines. Routines have this quality – they tend to become unnoticeable, bringing the comfort of familiarity with them. But they lack of the trill. And without the thrill, in the absence of the awe what is our life? Just a set of pre-programmed actions, emotions and predictable results. Snap yourself off the robotic existence; make the choices that thrill you.
Do It Tomorrow.
My mind found new coping mechanism to the trials of daily life. Every time when I feel overwhelmed by the issues that seemed to fall down on me all at once, mind goes in a “single thought mode”. It deliberately picks one issue of the whole lot and pushes the others to the side. And when I feel overwhelmed by a single issue, it “shuts the door” and allows to do all the thinking later. Strangely enough this works even with deadlines. When you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath. And I mean – not just literally. Give your mind an opportunity to “take a breath” before begin to tackle an issue at hand. You will be surprise how the impossible can be make so totally feasible, if you just stop being obsessed with it.
Tuning In
Despite of all the “politically correct” writings, I’m not living exactly the way I’m thinking, of course. It would’ve been too ideal and we all know perfection does not exist. I do have my moments when I feel overwhelmed, when I feel ugly, when I feel worthless, unloved, unhappy and all…there are moments in my days when I still shed a tear and feel particularly lonely and vulnerable, moments when I have that need to lean onto someone and find a shelter to weather out the problem. The thing is…it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still living, still breathing, still doing all that has to be done in daily routine. It makes me feel somewhat more content to realise that no matter how I feel, life’s going on. And no matter of what mood I’m in, all that needs to be done, still gets done…so really I already have all the skills necessary for survival. All I need to learn is how to tune my emotional being to that joyful wave of life’s radio station. It is there, I just need to adjust my receiver.