I'm playing truency today...last week it was Ms Flu that kept me home, this week I have no excuse...I didn't go dancing simply because...i couldn't face people...not paranoid, just not keen to make an effort to communicate. I've noticed this about me lately - am gradually becoming a loner...prefer to spend time with me and ..me...but more then the pleasure of me-time, it is about refusal to interact...why do we have to be social anyway? says who...I prefer not to give away my time to anyone because I know they won't appreciate it, will waste it without second thought, will use it in their own interests and once they're done, won't find a single spare second for me...strange that as much as being alone is not the time in my life when I'm the happiest, contacts with other humans aren't picnick either...if both are painful, then I'd prefer the pain of loneliness, at least this way I do not have to pretend I'm happy with my life...it is easier to come to terms with life when you take off mask - one thing less to take care of...somewhere along my way mind switched from longing for attention to hiding from it...*shrugs* it's all for the better, I suppose. somewhere there is a perfectly good reason for this change...at least I hope there is...