They say happiness comes from within. Meaning that nobody else can make you happy, but you. And it is true, I am not arguing. It is logical and certainly proved that it works in most of the situations. Yes, I do not need another to make me feel good, happy, excited, or in peace. However, there is a limitation to how much of good, happy, excited and of peace one can experience on their own. I can stand in front of the mirror and feel great looking at the beautiful glowing face reflected at me. Yet compare this with the one sentence compliment someone grants you and I could soar above the clouds from just few words. I can feel all the peace and calm in the world snuggled comfortably on a sofa with a good book, hot drink, no worries and no disturbance from anywhere and feel utterly happy at that moment. But if I can share this moment with someone, how much happier it could be? I can be in awe at the views from the mountain top, but what difference would it make if I could turn to someone and whisper overwhelmed by the sight “Did you just see that?!” There are limitations to the single experience compare to the shared one, even if you share different moments with different people.
I am cautious to use the word happy. I’m not entirely sure of its definition. I believe this word has got a strong attachment to the time. Happy is not a generic state, it is a state of a moment. In that sense it makes much more sense and I can accept that at certain particular moments I have been/am/will be happy. Also happy can be tied to particular conditions. Happy with the choice, happy to be loved, happy for someone. Am I happy on my own? No. But I am happy to deal with whatever I have to deal with on my own. And I’m happy to enjoy things I can enjoy on my own. Yet I also am aware that I can be happy more then I already are.
In relationships, be it friendship or love, the important thing is to be there for each other. We can be friendly to many people. We can be there for a lot. We can give them comfort when they need it and help them when they ask and share a walk when they invite. What I’ve learned about the close relationships though, is that it is not just to provide daily comfort and help with the chores or challenges. It is not just to create an environment that allows them to be who they want to be. But to create that sence of awareness in them. Awareness of their special place in your world. So that they can sense it, feel it, see and hear. That you are not a convenient background to their life, comfortable so they can be naked with you any time they feel like it. With time the comfort grows into habit and is taken for granted. And they stop feeling happy being with you. Ironically, I’ve learned this lesson only when the one I could apply this knowledge with has found another someone to make them feel special. I hope they still do otherwise it was not worth it. But the experience has taught me something important about myself as well. That as much as I can be happy and content on my own, it is important for me to be important for somebody else. If this makes sense. I do not need another to help me to cope with life; I do it easy and with a light heart by myself just fine. But happy as I am, this happiness could be so much more if I could make someone feel happy just by being with them. It really is that simple. Happiness is to make another someone happy.