Yes! I had another super day, at school, too! I have a feeling that this will turn out to be a really nice year :)
First, Paulette to answer your questions, well, I agree with you about the school job, the one thing I'm noticing now is that the nurse has this way of talking to kids at school, including me in a sort of baby talk. That can be aggravating, but I try to stay as nice as I can, and besides that, I love everything I do in there, I thought it was just a class at first, but then I found out you get paid to be an office worker. That makes it double great!!!
Today we played with the computers, we had a sub on the third day of school, too, can you believe it? Well, we just played on our computers and stuff, in piano we played real songs and practiced by ourselves with the headphones we're given, in the nurses office I delivered the packets to the teachers mailboxes that contained information about diabetes, and I helped put together these cute little first aid packets and stuff, and then in ROTC (we don;'t ahve our uniforms yet, so I'm not sure what they look like) and I ran and ran and ran, did tons of other excer. like pushups, and other stuff, and had a nice day, then worked till 9, I have to get off now but I'll update on what I consider to be the important thing of this diary entry. Bye for now!
Ok, now I can write, I think I'm tired or something, because for the last few minutes I've been yelling, not at anyone, but just the let off steam kind of yelling. The OOOOHHHH!!! and the growling almost and stuff.
Here's what I was writing about, two days I have off for sure at work, sundays to visit dad, and tuesdays to go to my group. The manager that wrote the schedule, he forgot and put me on for those two days. That's ok with me about sunday, but they cannot do it all of the time.
Tuesdays aren't ok, but that;'s a problem, I had thurs. off, and then I had them take me off for friday, and so if they do what they should have done, taken me off for tuesday and sunday, well, whenn can I work?
I've been waiting as patiently as I could for next weekend, Remember I need a few days off in a row, with no school, work or obligations? Well,I thought that this would be the perfect time. I have memorial day off and so that makes next weekend a three day weekend for me, so as long as I can get out of work for those days, well, then I'll have the few days to where I can take the laxatives, and I can be a little sick, and then I'll feel better like before, maybe not as well, physically, because I'll be nauseas, dehydrated, have a million cramps and bathroom runs, but it won't matter since I'll feel better again, I am in a desperate mode and will do anything short of death to help me with this stuff, it doesn't matter that in PT for ROTC, we ran around the school and did a lot of other excercises and I haven't eaten today, I still need to get this stuff, weight off me as soon as possible but I don't want to make it noticable so I can't do it again, I'll pretend that I have some kind of virus, and if my siser that saw the laxes says anything thern, I'll put the leftovers from the 200 in my first aid box, or paramedic box I have, and say that they were in there the whole time, and they won't be able to say I took the rest, because they won't know about them. If I get really desperate I'll take that other stuff, sorry, Paulette, that citrit of magnesium and see how that goes. Maybe not. I think that with how I've been feeling outside of school, like I'm floating around watching everyone while they ignore me, well, maybe that's why I want to do my thing, I know that must sound weird. This will sound weirder, in case I actually do kill myself in the process, since when I took the 120 I could have but didn't, well, with the more pills I may, well, I'll be missing out on the good things in my life, but it'll be like here at home noone will care, they'll sweep away the things like memories of me like if they vacummed an earring, a cheap ugly earring, they might miss it for a second but when they know it won't come back they'll feel bad, for about two seconds.
I would miss the people that write here to me, my few friends my age, Lo, Katie, Juana, my church friends, the fun things like shopping and school being good this year, thegroup I go to and My Grandma, Uncle, Sister, some other family but not all, Ms. B, and a couple of others.
Why does it really matter when people die anyway????? I mean, whether their soul is in Heaven or Hell, their body is rotting, decaying, laying in a box under ground, covered with dirt. Greivers miss the living, but that living is dead. They are dead, so no matter what, they can't tell their loved ones that they miss them, and well, in time everyone heals, the people that said they cared about you and acted like she didn't, like by ignoring all of the time, not staying around like you're some kind of disease she'll catch if she sticks around you close enough, etc.
You know what??? I feel like taking some of them tonighht, but that's the thing, I can't call off work and I can't go to work with being abarely able to sit up, or going to the restroom all of the time, what to do, what to do. I will takle them, because I have nothing better to do and I'm feeling depressed, I mean, what hit that? I DID have another super day, and then well, maybe it's because my mom doesn't care that I'm here, wopn't listen to me., or anything. She went out with my sister and some cousins, they had me get off the computer and just so they could look at some porn sights or something. Oh, well. I wish for once I was considered more important then those darn sites!!!
I have to go, Maybe I'll write more later after I decide what to do. I hate this,, :( Sorry for my mixed feelings and confusing entries, but it's how I feel, take care
First, Paulette to answer your questions, well, I agree with you about the school job, the one thing I'm noticing now is that the nurse has this way of talking to kids at school, including me in a sort of baby talk. That can be aggravating, but I try to stay as nice as I can, and besides that, I love everything I do in there, I thought it was just a class at first, but then I found out you get paid to be an office worker. That makes it double great!!!
Today we played with the computers, we had a sub on the third day of school, too, can you believe it? Well, we just played on our computers and stuff, in piano we played real songs and practiced by ourselves with the headphones we're given, in the nurses office I delivered the packets to the teachers mailboxes that contained information about diabetes, and I helped put together these cute little first aid packets and stuff, and then in ROTC (we don;'t ahve our uniforms yet, so I'm not sure what they look like) and I ran and ran and ran, did tons of other excer. like pushups, and other stuff, and had a nice day, then worked till 9, I have to get off now but I'll update on what I consider to be the important thing of this diary entry. Bye for now!
Ok, now I can write, I think I'm tired or something, because for the last few minutes I've been yelling, not at anyone, but just the let off steam kind of yelling. The OOOOHHHH!!! and the growling almost and stuff.
Here's what I was writing about, two days I have off for sure at work, sundays to visit dad, and tuesdays to go to my group. The manager that wrote the schedule, he forgot and put me on for those two days. That's ok with me about sunday, but they cannot do it all of the time.
Tuesdays aren't ok, but that;'s a problem, I had thurs. off, and then I had them take me off for friday, and so if they do what they should have done, taken me off for tuesday and sunday, well, whenn can I work?
I've been waiting as patiently as I could for next weekend, Remember I need a few days off in a row, with no school, work or obligations? Well,I thought that this would be the perfect time. I have memorial day off and so that makes next weekend a three day weekend for me, so as long as I can get out of work for those days, well, then I'll have the few days to where I can take the laxatives, and I can be a little sick, and then I'll feel better like before, maybe not as well, physically, because I'll be nauseas, dehydrated, have a million cramps and bathroom runs, but it won't matter since I'll feel better again, I am in a desperate mode and will do anything short of death to help me with this stuff, it doesn't matter that in PT for ROTC, we ran around the school and did a lot of other excercises and I haven't eaten today, I still need to get this stuff, weight off me as soon as possible but I don't want to make it noticable so I can't do it again, I'll pretend that I have some kind of virus, and if my siser that saw the laxes says anything thern, I'll put the leftovers from the 200 in my first aid box, or paramedic box I have, and say that they were in there the whole time, and they won't be able to say I took the rest, because they won't know about them. If I get really desperate I'll take that other stuff, sorry, Paulette, that citrit of magnesium and see how that goes. Maybe not. I think that with how I've been feeling outside of school, like I'm floating around watching everyone while they ignore me, well, maybe that's why I want to do my thing, I know that must sound weird. This will sound weirder, in case I actually do kill myself in the process, since when I took the 120 I could have but didn't, well, with the more pills I may, well, I'll be missing out on the good things in my life, but it'll be like here at home noone will care, they'll sweep away the things like memories of me like if they vacummed an earring, a cheap ugly earring, they might miss it for a second but when they know it won't come back they'll feel bad, for about two seconds.
I would miss the people that write here to me, my few friends my age, Lo, Katie, Juana, my church friends, the fun things like shopping and school being good this year, thegroup I go to and My Grandma, Uncle, Sister, some other family but not all, Ms. B, and a couple of others.
Why does it really matter when people die anyway????? I mean, whether their soul is in Heaven or Hell, their body is rotting, decaying, laying in a box under ground, covered with dirt. Greivers miss the living, but that living is dead. They are dead, so no matter what, they can't tell their loved ones that they miss them, and well, in time everyone heals, the people that said they cared about you and acted like she didn't, like by ignoring all of the time, not staying around like you're some kind of disease she'll catch if she sticks around you close enough, etc.
You know what??? I feel like taking some of them tonighht, but that's the thing, I can't call off work and I can't go to work with being abarely able to sit up, or going to the restroom all of the time, what to do, what to do. I will takle them, because I have nothing better to do and I'm feeling depressed, I mean, what hit that? I DID have another super day, and then well, maybe it's because my mom doesn't care that I'm here, wopn't listen to me., or anything. She went out with my sister and some cousins, they had me get off the computer and just so they could look at some porn sights or something. Oh, well. I wish for once I was considered more important then those darn sites!!!
I have to go, Maybe I'll write more later after I decide what to do. I hate this,, :( Sorry for my mixed feelings and confusing entries, but it's how I feel, take care