Tonight is the first night for a new period in my life,...
Rj and a friend took me home and at first mom yelled at me, when I walked in and shut the door on their faces because she didn't know where I was since I rode with them instead of taking the bus and then she let them in and all was better.
At lunch Steve came. Sercind meeting since the one I cancelled, it was good, but he made me suspicious when he was writing something and what he was writing was this list that he wants me to keep filling out, I don't know why exactly, but I know after we did one for this last week I was given a score of negative 4. 15 neg, 11 pos, I don't know. But the list has the following:
it's starting today and goes till nxt Thursday, I guess we'll go over it at our next meeting.
Food: b l d what I'm supposed to do is make a little note of what I ate if I did, with a check mark. If I don't eat, x.
Pill: trazodone, the pill to help me sleep. I never seem to take it but am supposed to, so if I do, check, if not, x.
T or L throwup or laxatives. If I'm smart and want to keep going on like this, I will just write down a bunch of x's to say that I haven't done either all week, but maybe I'll give it a shot. Even if he did say if I continue that I'll lose my control (ha) and freedom to do it, well, he's probably going to use it so that if there are too many checks saying I did, and which ones, well, I don't know. Maybe that's what I should do, and maybe be put in a treatment center or hospital, at least I won't have to deal with the things I have with me now to struggle with. I mean, I've been before, and it feels like well, I hate to use the term heaven, but compared to this,...
homework, and whether I did it, or had my friend helping me with it to get it done,... I usually try and rush it and I do it wrong, and that's only to get it out of the way. That's who I am.
work, whether I worked or not, and what time
sleep what time did I go to sleep, it doesn't matter about when I wake up since Steve already knows mostly, like what time I get up for school and all....
behavior: irritable and yelling at anyone for nothing? been esp. patient to some people? have I been helping mom out more, making her coffee, bringing her things, et cetera
cleanup: always have laundry to do and things to clean and organize. WhatI write down is if and what I do and when....
I trust Steve on this one, it won't hurt to try.
I feel out of sorts lately,... I fpund out that I had something, I have gotten a new boyfriend, RJ, I haven't seen "Sue" much at all lately and she had moved and got expeled from school, tomorrow is school, work, then an overnigth with the youth group, then sat. at 8 I have to work till 4 and then I'm going to go out with RJ, and then I work sunday and will see dad.
I'm going to call sue and see iff she'll be going to the overnight with me and finding out the detals now then do something.
Rj and a friend took me home and at first mom yelled at me, when I walked in and shut the door on their faces because she didn't know where I was since I rode with them instead of taking the bus and then she let them in and all was better.
At lunch Steve came. Sercind meeting since the one I cancelled, it was good, but he made me suspicious when he was writing something and what he was writing was this list that he wants me to keep filling out, I don't know why exactly, but I know after we did one for this last week I was given a score of negative 4. 15 neg, 11 pos, I don't know. But the list has the following:
it's starting today and goes till nxt Thursday, I guess we'll go over it at our next meeting.
Food: b l d what I'm supposed to do is make a little note of what I ate if I did, with a check mark. If I don't eat, x.
Pill: trazodone, the pill to help me sleep. I never seem to take it but am supposed to, so if I do, check, if not, x.
T or L throwup or laxatives. If I'm smart and want to keep going on like this, I will just write down a bunch of x's to say that I haven't done either all week, but maybe I'll give it a shot. Even if he did say if I continue that I'll lose my control (ha) and freedom to do it, well, he's probably going to use it so that if there are too many checks saying I did, and which ones, well, I don't know. Maybe that's what I should do, and maybe be put in a treatment center or hospital, at least I won't have to deal with the things I have with me now to struggle with. I mean, I've been before, and it feels like well, I hate to use the term heaven, but compared to this,...
homework, and whether I did it, or had my friend helping me with it to get it done,... I usually try and rush it and I do it wrong, and that's only to get it out of the way. That's who I am.
work, whether I worked or not, and what time
sleep what time did I go to sleep, it doesn't matter about when I wake up since Steve already knows mostly, like what time I get up for school and all....
behavior: irritable and yelling at anyone for nothing? been esp. patient to some people? have I been helping mom out more, making her coffee, bringing her things, et cetera
cleanup: always have laundry to do and things to clean and organize. WhatI write down is if and what I do and when....
I trust Steve on this one, it won't hurt to try.
I feel out of sorts lately,... I fpund out that I had something, I have gotten a new boyfriend, RJ, I haven't seen "Sue" much at all lately and she had moved and got expeled from school, tomorrow is school, work, then an overnigth with the youth group, then sat. at 8 I have to work till 4 and then I'm going to go out with RJ, and then I work sunday and will see dad.
I'm going to call sue and see iff she'll be going to the overnight with me and finding out the detals now then do something.