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D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

Ice Cold Tooth Weenie
Thu Dec 19 2002

For some obscure and probably neurotic reason I cannot seem to stop eating ice. It’s winter and when I do it, of course I get chilled and have to go turn up the heat. It’s set for 85 degrees right now, and I am shivering.

But I am telling you it’s so satisfying to munch away at my crushed ice that I get from the dispenser on my refrigerator door. My dentist tells me not to do it. I might break a tooth he says. And I always try to do what he tells me because I am a tooth weenie. If I have one little twinge of any kind I am right there in his office trying to talk with my finger in my mouth.
‘iuh urs righ ear doker, iz iuh oing oo faugh ough ?’ I’m pathetic, really.
I can’t tell you how many times he has told me everything is fine and sends me home with some Sensodyne tooth paste that is supposed to toughen up my sensitive teeth. But the stuff tastes funny. So I don’t use it for long.

But being aware of all this, I still can’t seem to give up my ice chips. Hey, listen, I don’t smoke, I don’t really drink, I don’t dip snuff, I don’t do drugs, heck I don’t even drink coffee ! ( I have never had surgery, but I’m such a non-substance person that if I ever DO have to have an operation all they will have to do to put me under is have the anesthesiologist step into the room and give me a stern look….. BOINK…..’There she goes, grab your scalpel, I’ll be back in an hour.”

So give me a break…..ummm…. let me re-phrase that, cut me some slack. I don’t have any crutches except this one. A little frozen water, a little dab of crystalline H2O. It’s filtered water even. Why is everything that is fun BAD for you ? I really don’t get that.

Maybe I should get a set of those metal teeth like that scary guy in the James Bond movie. Then I could hire out as an ice crusher !
Only problem is I am only 5’2’’. I don’t think I would cut a very imposing figure, metal teeth or not.

Sigh. . . .my ice cup is empty, I have to go now.

Anybody think it’s cold in here ?

3 Comments
  • From:
    Inkedgiraffe (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Dec 19 2002
    ...eating ice is a sign of sexual frustration ya know...
  • From:
    LifeOFLouise (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Dec 19 2002
    Hey, i'm only 5ft and i'm an imposing figure, it's all about attitude, go, get your metal teeth and let me know how they work out because my teeth are beyond icky and nasty and i can't afford dental care so easy care metal teeth would be great. As for all the vices, i think i must have got yours as well as mine then because i have more than my fair share of bad habits.
  • From:
    Chaya (Unauthenticated) (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Dec 19 2002
    If it makes you feel any better, what you're doing has a medical name, but I can't remember it except it ends in -phage. Pregnant women wanting sour pickles and ice cream also have this condition.

    OK, my dentist shook a finger at me when I confessed that I like to chew on ice. Actually, I told him I like to suck on ice, but he knew what I really meant.

    Maybe you could put on another sweater and turn down the thermostat a notch. Hey, a nice hot bath would do the trick. What a picture: a steaming bath, and a cup of ice chips on the rim of the bathtub. Better make it a bucket of ice chips.