I thought I could come in here and leave the war outside. I was wrong. The whole thing has me on edge. I’m fidgity and my nerves are frazzled. My mind flits from one thing to another and so does my body. Going from one project to another, not able to focus on one thing for long.
The TV is off but the radio has been on. I can feel the anxiety nibbling at my innards much like Alice taking a bite of mushroom. Which one will make me bigger and which one smaller?
I consulted the duckie last night in the tub and we concluded that we will have to be strong. And that somehow we must keep hope and joy alive, because we will be needing them. They cannot be allowed to dwindle away, even in difficult times.
Did my usual chores today and am hoping to plant my gladiolus bulbs. I finally decided where to plant them. All decisions seem to take longer these last few days. My little chores and projects seem so trivial compared to the things that are being faced by our soldiers in Iraq.
I want my children. I want to touch them, surround them, and be surrounded by them. I guess the mothering instinct just never goes away. We can’t help it. I am so incredibly sad for the families who have lost loved ones in this war. I hope they know it was for a greater good. I hope this gives them some small measure of comfort. To have died fighting evil gives their death more meaning. To be willing to stand up and say NO to the insanity of Saddam’s Iraq, and back it up with your own life…. Well, this is bravery. Even in this cynical world we are living in. For people to think about anything outside themselves has become rather extraordinary.
I need to go outside for some fresh air. Outside in my backyard, where I can breathe the air of freedom, that is protected for me by my countrymen in a foreign land.
May God be with them.