Ever since I discovered it the other day in the store, I have wanted to share with you the details of a truly amazing product.
I was cruising through the refrigerator section at the grocery looking for a package of cream cheese. I passed by several brands of individually wrapped cheese food products otherwise known as Kraft singles and all their imitators. There amid the astonishing number of varieties, I caught sight of something new. It immediately reminded me of a cheese that a friend of mine used to eat. She was from Norway, and always had this brown, goats milk cheese that she sliced paper thin and ate on sourdough toast. I think they cooked that milk till it caramelized and then made cheese with it. I thought, Wow, goat milk cheese! I picked up the package and read the cover.
What?
You must be joking.
I flipped the package over and read the front again.
It was individually wrapped “slices” of peanut butter.
(Pause for proper stunned silence)
Now have we become so debilitated that we can’t stick a knife in a jar of peanut butter and make a PB&J ? We need “slices” of peanut butter???
I tossed it back into the pile and walked off in bemusement.
I suppose one day, we will just buy tubes of nutritional paste in thousands of different colors and flavors and have someone else squeeze it into our mouths.
I would love to have a long and in depth discussion with the person who pitched this idea to his company, and then the company who bought into the idea. I’ll bet none of them are over 40.
(Enter curmudgeonly old lady)
Now I think I am beginning to understand some of the elderly people I see at the grocery. They wander around with a look on their faces of disbelief. Where I live the variety of goods at the store can bring you to a standstill. Choosing some can of beans from 25 kinds can tax the brain to it’s limits. And there may be some little old lady still shaking her head in dismay at the frivolity of paper plates or some other such manufactured tomfoolery that she can’t relate to.
Only thing is, that things are changing a LOT faster in my time than they did in hers, and God only knows what I am going to be faced with 40 years from now. Individually wrapped leaves of lettuce? Pre-chewed food? Semi-digested food? Or maybe grocery stores will turn into giant delis where you just go pick out dinner and take it home. Who knows. But what worries me, is I am already starting to wander around with that look of disbelief on my face. By the time I’m 90, I might get cranky about it.
“Hey there sonny, (taps young clerk on head with cane) don’t you have any heads of cabbage? Where are the potatoes? Ever hear of onions? What’s the matter with you people? I want to talk to the manager!”
Is this my future?