D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

Gray Day In More Ways Than One
Wed Jan 14 2004

Just about the time I think I am doing pretty darn good, it happens.

This morning, I was sitting at the computer and it was still kinda dark in here. I finished what I was doing and got up to go in the other room. And as I turned to get out of the chair I saw an indistinct shape on the floor with white parts to it. I thought I was about to step on Robbie.
(Which I often almost did, as he would lie down someplace near without me noticing)

Turned out it was my socks and tennis shoes that I had taken off last night. It’s amazing how fast our brain works sometimes. The sequence went something like this:

Oh, watch out, Robbie is there, don’t step on him.

Robbie is back!

Oh no, that’s not Robbie.

And he’s not coming back either.

After that it’s all emotions. There were a parade of those too, but no words for them…… except these I suppose.

All this happened in a nanosecond.

I wonder what else might happen in a nanosecond? Some other good thing. Something unexpected. Something wonderful.

Maybe it’s the time of year. Maybe it’s losing Robbie. Maybe it’s just . . .
Life. But I miss having my boys near. I know, I know, they are men now, but I miss them anyway. You would not believe how far flung we are from each other. Hundreds of miles.

And Robbie is furthest away of all.


[album 65561 Burnt hill Robbie.JPG]

8 Comments
  • From:
    Sweetsummerbreeze (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Jan 13 2004
    Robbie is a beautiful dog and I'm sorry that he is gone. I've had moments like you mentioned. I once had a dog named Bitsy. I had her for like 16 years. I grew up with her. When she passed on every time I would go to my parents house for a split second I would wonder why she wasn't meeting me at the front door then I guess you could say I would come back to reality and then I would be sad. She's been gone for almost 10 years now and I still miss her.
  • From:
    RealmOfRachel (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Jan 13 2004
    I hope the blues and grey days wash away soon for you. Hug.

    Rach xxx
  • From:
    MagicWhiskey (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Jan 13 2004
    What a lovely dog. I'm sorry he's gone.
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Jan 13 2004
    awwwww :**(
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Jan 13 2004
    awwwww :**(
  • From:
    Pragmatist (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Jan 14 2004
    Odd, isn't it, the tricks our minds play on us.

    Robbie will be with you forever, but the mind tricks and the hurt will diminish over time. You know that.

    As for your boys...I can relate. I really wish I could have more contact with A. But he's busy, and in SoCal, and my car doesn't drive that far any more, and...and...and....

    Shalom
  • From:
    Bookworm (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Jan 14 2004
    Oh, you poor thing. Your brain just fell into a familiar and pleasant pattern. It will take a while to change that pattern. Love that pic of Robbie. ;-)
  • From:
    Ironweed (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Jan 14 2004
    what a sad entry...we used to have an Australian sheepdog...he was heavy and muscular and always was a heavy breather... he followed us everywhere. After he left us sometimes I would think I could hear his breathing and I would turn around without thinking...expecting to see him.
    The pics are beautiful...and I'm not sure if time heals anything but it will become easier to live with....love and peace.