Ah, Salamander.
Our minds must wander along the same paths from time to time.
Just the other day I was posting an entry and I thought to myself, "This is drivel. Unmitigated trivia. Why am I writing it, and who would want to read it?"
I explored similar reasons for writing. The desire to write on a regular basis. The desire to improve my writing. An unexpected benefit that I was not prepared for was the discipline of writing to a deadline. Having to come up with something every day has been an excellent assignment for me. And I have learned not to fear it.
I enjoy the give and take of other diarists ideas. And let's face it we are all over the spectrum politically and religiously. As long as everyone remains civil, it is a good place to exchange ideas.
BUT, there are other factors at work, you are right. And the one that hit me between the eyes was your admission that you were lonely. . . .I am too.
There, I have said it.
Our society encourages, promotes, fosters and rewards independence. . . . Wait, I disagree with what I just said. Exchange the word independence with isolation.
We surround ourselves with all manner of distractions. Television, radio, stereos, and yes, computers. We even buy our own movies so we don't have to go to the theater.
We have vast libraries of music so we don't have to go to concerts. We have dozens of people to tell us what's going on in the world on television, so we don't talk to our neighbors about those things. Everyone is incredibly busy just trying to make a living and we end up not having time to live. Actually, our yardstick for financial success has grown so large as to be ridiculous. If you believe what the media tries to sell, if we work hard and are "smart" consumers, we will all retire as millionaires! And anything less than that, well, you just didn't plan your life very well did you now?
But what has suffered in this rush to individualism and financial nirvana are our relationships. It IS hard to get together with people for the simplest things. And maintaining a close relationship has become a real project. It doesn't help that we all move so frequently. That is a whole disrupting influence in itself.
I have often thought I would like to start a writing group that would meet in my home. But it seems such a daunting task to get people together. And here we come to a nasty little fact that, were I speaking aloud, I would feel so ashamed, I would have to whisper it.....
I have belonged to 3 different book clubs over the years. And something that I noticed in all of them was a dynamic that surprised me. People have the devil of a time dealing with others who don't think EXACTLY like they do. On EVERY level, in ALL the details and minutia. And we find it so threatening to hear a different point of view, that we will hammer and bully the dissenting voice until they have no choice but to capitulate or withdraw. I think this is another reason that we find it hard to associate with others. We are encouraged to polarize our thinking in public and it spills over into the personal. This just adds to the pile of pressures we face in modern life that keep us from forming any but a handful of satisfying relationships.
There is another thing that is at work, in my opinion. Because we are so many of us in the world, AND we are isolated, AND we watch a lot of TV (as a group) we can come to the conclusion that if it's not on TV, it's not really REAL. That if someone else doesn't SEE it, it didn't happen. And since we are not on TV, we can feel that we are invisible.
That our life is not real because no one else is watching it. I think that is why people are so willing to go on TV and do humiliating things. At least they are not invisible!
We want to know that our life matters. That it has meaning.
Oh, I know I generalize quite a bit. But I think about this stuff. And I don't know how to overcome it. It's like facing off with a tsunami using a garden hose.
But here we come to one of the most satisfying aspects of keeping an on line journal.
Even if I cannot sit in my own home and speak with people face to face about these things, at least we can put them "out there" on our diaries and other people may stop by and read. We will refine each others thinking, add another level of understanding, or perhaps even change our minds because we have read an idea we never ever thought of before.
It is the power of the public square. It's just that the square is our computer monitor now instead of a soap box in front of the butcher shop! Maybe some day our society will learn the lessons of getting too isolated. But in the meantime, this is what we have to work with. In some respects virtual relationship is ersatz relationship, but no more so than pen pals in years past. But it's true, at some point we need warm bodies to fulfill our needs in friendship. And to pretend otherwise is self delusion.
I guess with all things, there is a light side and a dark side. The trick is not to mistake one for the other.
But for now, my advise is to,
Write On !