There is something in the air today.
It's been mild and mostly sunny with a very gentle breeze. But the weather man says it's going to rain, and I think I would have to agree with him.
I feel extra sensitive to it today.
I haven't said too much about the menopause thing lately, as things have been going pretty well. But in some ways I feel it's been a calm before a storm, just like today. I hate to use a hackneyed word, but it seems to fit so well.... I feel fragile.
Like if someone shook me real hard, I would just shatter into a million pieces. It's not a BAD feeling necessarily,but it's pretty strong.
It reminds me of certain stages of an insect that is going through metamorphosis. There must be moments when they are extremely vulnerable. That's me. But I have this feeling that if I can just get past this place.... I don't know how long it will last.... but if I get beyond it, I will be fine. I will be strong and feisty.
But right now I need to find a leaf to hide under, until my shell hardens or something.
Today I went to Wal-Mart and bought some Iris.... bulbs? corms? roots?.
Sky Blue, Pink, and Yellow. 8 altogether. I went out into the front yard and scratched up the dirt and planted them. They look dead. And I felt silly putting them in the cold muddy ground. This isn't the time to plant anything is it? But then I got to thinking, I feel like those Iris roots. Gnarled and dormant. Though perhaps if I get planted and tended to, I will bloom again too. But it might take a whole winter and spring to find out.
I ran across a funny quote today that just suited my mood.
"If the world didn't suck. . . . . . we'd all fall off."
Dark humor to be sure. But I'll take any humor I can get at this point.