Yes friends, you are in the right place.
I was in such a tizzy about the look of my diary, and could not come to a satisfactory resolution, so in my usual style of supreme self control and moderation... I, er, cleared the place out. Got down to the bare bones, so to speak.
It seemed fitting, truth to tell, because during my absence I thought a lot about this whole enterprise. Whether it had run its course, or if I should be blogging elsewhere, or blogging at all... The entire subject started to become a burden, and finally in a fit of angst I bent Mamallama's ear for a good hour trying to figure out what to do about it. It was an Epic whine, let me tell you.
But after that conversation I think I have put my fingers on a thing or two that helped me at least show up here and clean house. I made a blank canvas. On purpose.
One of the things I got in touch with during my Sabbatical, was the fact that for some very self defeating reason, I expect things to stay the same in life. And whenever they don't, which of course is often, I get all messed up about it. This is a colossal waste of time.
(Don't we know it...)
Seven years ago, the world was a different place. I was a different person. Dear Diary was a bit more of a bustling site than it is now, which made writing here a different experience. I thought long and hard about blogging somewhere else. Though when it came right down to it, I didn't WANT to blog somewhere else. Those other places are... confusing and more A.D.D. than I can handle.
We also realized what was messing with our minds was the fact that things in our country and in the world at large have become more uncertain. Yes, yes, life has always been thus to a degree. But we have moved into overdrive, or I should say we have been prodded and driven into overdrive against our will.
This does not make for happy thoughts a lot of the time. And writing anything coherent under these conditions can be a real challenge. I'm no genius either, so I muddle along, bouncing between different places emotionally, just trying to keep my balance, never mind writing something of lasting value. Sigh... it was almost easier when I was half crazy with peri-menopause. At least I had manic phases that were kinda fun. . . while they lasted.
Anyway, I don't want to make any sweeping promises that I may not be able to keep. But I am hoping to write on a wider range of topics than I have been of late. Knuckle down and do the work. Show up. If for no other reason than to record how one person tried to cope with the world as it was in 2010. Or 5770, depending on your point of view.
Oh yes, there will be knitting, and gardening, and domestic trivia as usual, but I hope to add some of the other dimensions of my life that are harder to share. Harder because they are less straightforward and require more time and effort to communicate properly. I'm aiming for something more multi-dimensional.
(Schizophrenia is multi-demetianal. Just thought I would point that out. You know. For the record.)
Ha! See, there are SOME things that never change. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy all over. I'm particularly interested in the spelling error. I think it MEANS something don't you?
(What spelling error?)
See what I mean?
P.S. It is my intention to decorate again. But it may be piecemeal. I may try some odd things on, and rip them down and try something else, so bear with me. This may take a while.