Exclusiveness
Sun Aug 22 2004

Being "exclusive" leads to being "possesive". Being "possesive" leads to being "distrustful". Lost of trust...Not many loves can withstand such challenge...

It could happenned so that those whom you love will be unable to give that little "special" something, that you might find you can't exist without. It could happenned that you come to realise that after some time.

After you've given your partner your love, support, most of your life...It's not that your love for them dried out. It's not that you can't stand them any more. I'm just talking about that moments, when you realise that you have something within you, that you cannot share anymore. Would the reason be - they don't understand, or - they incapable to understand, or - they don't want to try to understand. It could be also - that they've got other things that they can't share with you too...in the end of a day we all - different and have different ways of walking through life, even if we've got a loving fellow traveller...

Things could happenned...And there could come a moment, when you give up trying to share certain things with your partner and look around searching for others to share instead.

Is this a moment, when you must consider to part and go your own ways each? Or is it - a sign for you to get all your strength and make an effort to understand and to accept that this is the way of life?

Tough choice, eh? If you stay, you will most certainly need to give up your ideas or to keep them to yourself, but you'll have your loving partner in return for this sacrifice.
If you turn and walk away, you'll lose part of your life, which had a meaning to it or at least which has a memories of details of what is you...

How many of us can let their partners to have someone else for sharing things, we not interested ourselves? How many of us want to keep our partners "exclusive" to us only?

It's one thing when there is no love any more, or where there is love for someone else instead...But what about - losing "togetherness"? Does it count for a reason to leave? Is it a legitimate reason - "no common interests"?

I can understand it could be a valid motive, if you haven't spend much time to try to find those "common grounds". But what about long-term partners? Do the years spent together mean anything? Can the fact that their lives are now so deeply intertwined be a binding factor? Just how much of sharing can you give up in the name of shared past?

And the other alternative would be - to find someone else to share that tiny part of great importance. And let your partner do the same.
But how much of "exclusiveness" can we let go? Can we really handle it? Can we trust each other?

What I wonder here: which way is better - to agree to be "exclusive" and accept all limitations it can tied you up with, or - to go "looking elsewhere", even if this means - to leave your loved ones because they can't accept it? [sigh] either way is painful, but almost everyone have to make that choice at least once in a lifetime...

2 Comments
  • From:
    Teaeyegger (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 23 2004
    Congrats on being the entry of the week...

    We are exclusive in desire and plural in needs… know one fills all the voids we have… know singular entity can… In time we learn to let go of our love… our passion and our desire for some one sow that the seeds we planted within them grow… those are the seeds we will harvest… for a person who is free to be themselves sees the love around them as a nurturing wonder and they in turn feed the roots and cultivate the ground so that love grows easily… We want to be the exclusive… friend… lover… confidant… I wish I could be all that those around me wish I was… I can only be me and love them with all my heart… and if that is not enough… and for some it simply is not… then when they turn away I can smile and wave for I know I will see them once more… for we still share the love we have… between us…
  • From:
    Bubbles1956 (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Aug 23 2004
    I think communication helps so much of the problems, even if the communication leads to the agreement of going your seperate ways. The truth is that life is too short to me miserable. Love does not leave the heart, I think we just all grow and change at different levels and paces. Who we were together before is not who we are together now. I know for me, the decision for moving on was based on the "last straw" of what I could live with.

    Internet Mom