"Deserveness"
Tue Apr 04 2006

We deserve what we have got, really. When we talk of “deserveness” we should look at it in two ways. Firstly, we judge others based on their worthiness. We can say: this person deserves / doesn’t deserve whatever…and this is where it’s all get unfair and unjust. Because of course we judge others based on our own very subjective experience. And most of this “judgment” will be – comparison. We willingly or unwillingly compare others with ourselves. All the judgment is relative. Apart from the basic moral values, but those always get swapped under the tablecloth of artificial ceremonies (religions)* and hidden agendas (wars) **

We do also have an idea of our own worthiness. Not as in “I deserve to be a millionaire” but as in “I deserve to be as happy as I wish to be, as clever as I think I should be, as respected, as loved as I believe I have all qualities for this”. In a sense of self-assessed worthiness we always fair and just. We know exactly what we are and if we can be better then that.

For instance I can be satisfied financially with the lesser paid job, which still will get me through the daily life. No fringes, but quite enough. Or I can also take lesser paid job because it will give me satisfaction in other ways, like make me feel better about myself. If I feel good enough of myself already, I would most likely find a job that will satisfy a bit more of my needs, maybe a little bit of my wishes on top of necessities (which could be different, do you agree?).

Now, how do I access myself in this respect: do I deserve to have my dreams fulfilled? Yes, I believe I do. But: do I deserve that someone comes along and fulfil them for me? I doubt. No one owns me anything, but me. I’m worthy my dreams, but it is only transpired when I do something to make my dreams true. Our efforts are the measures of our worthiness. And in that sense it is the most just and fair metrics. If I know that I can do better, I shouldn't sit and sigh that the world is unfair. I should really get up and do better. When I satisfied with myself, I will be more satisfied with the world too. 

*    People of Faith always judge those of other Faiths, even though the stonebased principles of any religion astonishingly similar, but they just compare each other's formalities, which, btw have been invented by humans, not by Gods.
** You can say it is just and fair to liberate Iraqi people from the terror of Saddam then go and ask Iraqi’s mom if that’s fair to bring up her child among the bomb explosions. And both will be right, of course.

4 Comments
  • From:
    Jagged (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Apr 04 2006
    Nice entry here. For me, I take a different perspective... probably as a result of both my scientifically biased mind and my own assortment of personal experiences...I don’t really believe in deservingness or fairness. I think justice is a creation of the human intellect. Where else in nature does it exist? I believe much of life is about luck and how we interpret events that happen to us. That’s not to say I don’t sometimes get caught up in being upset about being treated unfairly... I think that’s just a part of being human, and possessing the above-mentioned intellect. But when I put aside my emotional reaction and think rationally about the situation, I recognise that I don’t deserve anything at all, good or bad. And neither does anyone else. That’s not to say I don’t value certain qualities (honesty, trust, integrity) and desire to be treated with respect. However, I don’t expect it from others. If someone consistently treats me in ways I desire to be treated, then I will spend more time with them, and they will become a friend. If they don’t then I won’t.

    Even when it comes to my job, I don’t expect a certain pay because I think I deserve that amount of money. I take what the going rate is, I guess because I find the work intrinsically rewarding. I suppose I wouldn’t do very well in the business world would I?

    I know I make it sound really easy and matter of fact here, and if I really really practiced what I’m saying here I’d be eternally happy, wouldn’t I? The truth is I sometimes get upset when things are unfair, but because I look at it from a slightly different perspective, I don’t have any real rationale for staying mad very long, once I sit down and think about it. It’s the remembering to sit down and think about it part that’s hard.
  • From:
    MadMegan (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Apr 04 2006
    An option I had not considered. Maybe I could wear some ribbon with my paint.... Hmmmmmm....
    ;-)
  • From:
    Pragmatist (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Apr 04 2006
    My granddaughter is a bright child, but lazy. Instead of taking accelerated courses in school, she takes the less challenging "regular" courses. And she has the grand idea of going to veterinary school. But with her grades....

    Even if I have a sense of worthiness, "deserveness" as you put it, how do I (or anyone) inspire her to achieve?

    Shalom
  • From:
    Dreamerbooks2003 (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Apr 04 2006
    Wow.. once again.. you and me on the same page..
    Today I attended a little Tai chi.. and the reading was on ... you ready for this....? self-acceptance " as those around us reflect our lives to ourselves.. and i see the knotted, gnarled tree just perfect in its beauty.. though it grew knotted with the age and path of its life
    thanx for stopping by to wish me a good birthday
    You are a gem
    I am trying to make the best of it..
    I spent 2 hours in the dentist chair yesterday and today I am seeing spots .. I mean literarily.. I had to drive with this peripheral vision thing going on.. but had to get home and lie down.. I have sort of put a hold on the rest the festivities.. Maybe this weekend.. the root canal was a bad mess.. and I feel rather week and pain.. but.. this too I shall accept with the rose in my heart.. open petal.. and reflecting my perfect imperfection
    love
    peg

    Oh I also way back when.. wanted to respond about gadfly.. you know that is a classic recognized in Europe.. but didn't really catch on in US.. ??
    Oh wonder why.. I am currently reading a book which is giving me power in a different way ive ever experienced it.. Almanac of The Dead, by Leslie Marmom Silko
    Wow.. what a book..
    I even dream it.. and day dream it.. and can hardly wait to find the time to read more..
    Love a good book
    hugs