So I wrote the above, posted, said to myself what an idiot and went home. As I was driving home, I thought about why is it that I’m angry at myself for writing what I write? For talking about the things that do not exist, for making up things out of nothing, when all it ever is – just a bold boring day, same as any other boring day of our life…gradually I realise that this is exactly what I want to say, what I want to create – a make-believe world, full of things made up out of normal mundane things, an Alternative Parallel World.
I refuse to write about my real day, I hesitate to write about the real me. You see, when I tell you about my real life, the place I live, the place I work, how my day spent…if I tell all these, where all the enigma gone?…there will be no more puzzles, no more anticipation of unknown, of where else this crazy lady might take us …and when all the wonders gone, there will be no more walking on the rainbows, no more smile throwing, no more getting lost within revolving doors and riding elevators in a company of vacuum cleaners, no more talking to the Me from the parallel universe and no more laughs that might grow from all these little insanities. This is what it’s gonna be and I know it and yet from time to time I’m doing it, knowingly…life is that thing – you never know what she’ll ask of you the next moment…it is not easy for me to share my reality in full awareness that once it's done, a dream will be dead…
I’ve been thinking about how I want this place to be The Alternative To The Life Ordinary. Place where I learn how to see things other then normal things. In a sense, if you’d read carefully, all that being written in this place IS my everyday’s life. Things that happened to me or I witnessed them happened to somebody else, rendered through my mind and twisted in there, sometimes in the most uncomfortable ways…but my life they are. Just another alternative view on her. I could write about my day in so many different ways and still say the same…like I’ve bought a bed…or I’ve got stuck when passed through the doors…or I’ve noticed how dark it is outdoors after 5 pm…
My days are so very boring, home-work-home days, but I reject this definition, I wish to notice something else in them, to pick it up and pull forward to the magnifying glass…and see something interestingly colorful about something gray. I strive to find an alternative thrill in my day. Not just see a switch on the wall, but notice the label on it that says “Destroy Universe”, not just look in the mirror, but make a funny face to myself and get me to smile. I’m not crazy, I just wish to find something in otherwise nothing that I see each and every day. For our life is so full of nothings it could kill all the will to live.
Having thought all of that on my way home, I am strangely in peace with me…no longer frustrated, no more embarrassed to look like a fool. Hell, this is my own place and I will do what I truly wish in here. I will say silly things and imagine things and when I discover some interesting things, I’ll show them to you. If fools can see what others can not, then I’d rather be the one. There are so many normal things stuck in our reality, it is time to uncover something insane about them…
I refuse to write about my real day, I hesitate to write about the real me. You see, when I tell you about my real life, the place I live, the place I work, how my day spent…if I tell all these, where all the enigma gone?…there will be no more puzzles, no more anticipation of unknown, of where else this crazy lady might take us …and when all the wonders gone, there will be no more walking on the rainbows, no more smile throwing, no more getting lost within revolving doors and riding elevators in a company of vacuum cleaners, no more talking to the Me from the parallel universe and no more laughs that might grow from all these little insanities. This is what it’s gonna be and I know it and yet from time to time I’m doing it, knowingly…life is that thing – you never know what she’ll ask of you the next moment…it is not easy for me to share my reality in full awareness that once it's done, a dream will be dead…
I’ve been thinking about how I want this place to be The Alternative To The Life Ordinary. Place where I learn how to see things other then normal things. In a sense, if you’d read carefully, all that being written in this place IS my everyday’s life. Things that happened to me or I witnessed them happened to somebody else, rendered through my mind and twisted in there, sometimes in the most uncomfortable ways…but my life they are. Just another alternative view on her. I could write about my day in so many different ways and still say the same…like I’ve bought a bed…or I’ve got stuck when passed through the doors…or I’ve noticed how dark it is outdoors after 5 pm…
My days are so very boring, home-work-home days, but I reject this definition, I wish to notice something else in them, to pick it up and pull forward to the magnifying glass…and see something interestingly colorful about something gray. I strive to find an alternative thrill in my day. Not just see a switch on the wall, but notice the label on it that says “Destroy Universe”, not just look in the mirror, but make a funny face to myself and get me to smile. I’m not crazy, I just wish to find something in otherwise nothing that I see each and every day. For our life is so full of nothings it could kill all the will to live.
Having thought all of that on my way home, I am strangely in peace with me…no longer frustrated, no more embarrassed to look like a fool. Hell, this is my own place and I will do what I truly wish in here. I will say silly things and imagine things and when I discover some interesting things, I’ll show them to you. If fools can see what others can not, then I’d rather be the one. There are so many normal things stuck in our reality, it is time to uncover something insane about them…