DearDiary Logo
Public DiariesHomeLogin

Sin Nick
Wed Mar 21 2007

I feel cynical today and the thoughts are tainted too. Doesn’t mean they should not be taken seriously though. I believe our thoughts are just about the only thing that is true about us. Our moods only reflect them in various spotlights…

I’ve been thinking…now to draw a picture: it is usually in the morning when I’m driving to work, when most of my work-unrelated thinking is happening. If I’m lucky enough I’ll get spare minute to type them when in the office. But sometimes the luck is not mine and my wonderful thoughts get lost unknown…not big deal, of course. Anyway, what was that about, I wonder?

I’ve been thinking this morning…as I usually do…and this was about friends…in general sense. And how it is interesting that we tend to get familiar with the other and then, once we did, we have no longer interest to invest in relationship. Haven’t you noticed how in the first stages of your new acquaintance both would be really keen to know more of each other (if they become interested in the first place, that is) but over time, once we have shared all we allow ourselves to be open about, the interest dried out. The communication becomes less. The interest fades away…we say: I know all about you [that I need to know], I am no longer prepared to give you as much time as before when you were new to me.

And this might be quite natural, right? We meet someone new, we gave our time to share a piece of us we thought they should have. Then the “dull everyday” comes. And suddenly we discovered that we have nothing else to share. We can only give our past. Not our present. This is actually that time in relationship when we find out who came to stay and who – to walk briefly together and then – to move on to their own ways.

A friend is not just the one who lends an ear and takes the burden of your troubles that already HAPPENNED. It is not just the one who is on “stand by” and ready to catch you if you fall. It is not just the one who would say to you: “tell me what interesting happened in your day”. It is also the one who shares your day with you regardless how dull and boring it might be. The one that says: “let’s find something interesting in your day. And let’s do it together”

Recently I've become rather sceptical about just how many people we can really think of when we want to share the unexciting stuff. The mundane stuff. The stuff that we classify as “normal”. Not that many at all, I believe.

4 Comments
  • From:
    Astrid04 (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Mar 21 2007
    You are completely right about that. We do tend to move on once we seem to know everything we can about a person. I rarely share a lot of my life with others, most of it is just mundane and I figure people have enough of that in their own lives!

    Astrid
  • From:
    Pragmatist (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Mar 21 2007
    I have that problem in DD. I don't write every day because I want to be "interesting" to whoever might click on my diary. My life is so mundane, not a great deal to share.

    But is it really? Why do I click on Yetzirah? Because she makes the mundane, the every-day-ness interesting and amusing. Wish I had her quirky view of the world.

    See what I mean?

    Another reason I click on MissTick.

    Shalom

  • From:
    GlimmerBug (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Mar 22 2007
    Hi,

    Thanks for your comment. I, too, like the thought for the day. Most are silly but that makes it fun.

    Lately, my brain has been on overdrive as well. Sometimes it's hard to just turn it off and I end up over-thinking things and that's when cynicism usually follows. At that point I have to have a good talking to myself. Ha!

    Anyway, the best of friends are the ones who can listen to the mundane and still be your friend.

    :)
  • From:
    Siaka hinton (Unauthenticated) (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Mar 22 2007
    Lana, this is a beautiful yet wistful piece and it concerns me. I would like only to sustain a relationship and watch it twinkle into a brilliant light...but I can't. I don't have the capacity or emotional wherewithal to care for and be there for someone. Change? What change can there be at this point? You're a poignant writer, Sweetie and have touched me. My prayers are with you.

    Siaka H.