In Adequacy
Wed Jan 16 2008

It is one of those days…days when you wake up in the morning washed in tears from realisation that there is no one in the whole world who wants you. I mean – that poisoned feeling of inadequacy. I’ve been told not once how wonderful I am, kind, soft, warm, caring, a good and reliable friend, etc…I’m in conflict with this statement: if I’m all these things why you do what you do?...you said: I don’t deserve to be hurt, it will be better for me if you leave…I am failing to see how you can make someone happier by making them unhappy?…I cannot comprehend if I truly deserve to be loved, why not by you? It took 23 years for you to get to know me and realise you cannot?... Can you now imagine me giving my trust to someone else the same way I’ve trusted you?...Can you imagine that feeling when there is no one…NO ONE who wants you in their life, despite of how wonderful you might appear?...I'm feeling slightly out of logic...in adequate...Is this is supposed to be better for me? Is this supposed to make me better? Perhaps, I should just turn into bitch and say fuck you all, I do not believe in love anymore...
It's one of those days, I suppose...
2 Comments
  • From:
    DancingButterfly (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Jan 16 2008
    I've been there.
    Soon, you'll be able to say he wasn't good enough for you, and you'll meet other guys who aren't good enough for you either.
    Ride it out... you're in the middle of a bad storm... it'll get better later...
  • From:
    Dreamerbooks2003 (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Jan 26 2008
    I have felt this way also, but found finally that I don't need anyone to define me.. I validate myself.. And that is not an egotistical thing.. It is just where I am now..
    I Don't need from another to make me know I am worth all that I am..

    still, I know how you feel at this moment.. it is betrayal and seems totally ugly.. but you are worth much!!! and you know you are!!
    took me 10 years to realize my worth after a horrid marriage.. hang in there