I will think about it tomorrow...but I shall write about it today. Simply because I don't want to mix the two entries in one day...never mind. I've just used up my quota on saying something on the next day. (and if you read this the next day, it will come up as a total nonesense to you anyway, so don't bother)
my mind wandered off today…and I followed him. don’t take it seriously though, because I - don’t…Just felt being a bit poetic, that's all. besides, I have all rights to write MY bollocks in MY diary...
Closures…it seems like in every relationship, long term or brief, family or friendships, when it ends, we have to have closure…a word, or a letter…or some ritual performed by us for us, attended by the ghosts of those we are saying our goodbyes to…
-Would you like me to be there when you die?-
We learn not to love what we can’t have…but do we truly?...more likely we learn not to think of it as love. We learn to find a mask to put on love’s face so that we will mistake her for someone else…
-a death mask?-
We listen, but pretend we do not hear…we are interested very much but pretend we indifferent…does the closure comes when what we feared once has become our reality?
-a silence?-
No one’s stopping by to check on you each day. It is you who supposed to do that. It is you to take care of you. You will be all alone. You’ll either hate it or love it. Learn to use this time selfishly; it’s important and legal for you to have pleasure in your life. Look around and notice how nothing changed. Eventually we all learn how to cross that line from being optimist to being cynic…cynic is not that bad, you know. Cynics are optimists too. They just choose to have low expectations, so that they can come true eventually. A way of fooling yourself into believing this life is the best what happened to you.
-do you believe in afterlife?-
I do not know. Last time I knocked that door, there was Nobody home. What a great song to die to in a road accident, isn’t she? I used to imagine my own death once. It involved Pink Floyd.
-I’ve grown up from this silly dream-
my mind wandered off today…and I followed him. don’t take it seriously though, because I - don’t…Just felt being a bit poetic, that's all. besides, I have all rights to write MY bollocks in MY diary...
Closures…it seems like in every relationship, long term or brief, family or friendships, when it ends, we have to have closure…a word, or a letter…or some ritual performed by us for us, attended by the ghosts of those we are saying our goodbyes to…
-Would you like me to be there when you die?-
We learn not to love what we can’t have…but do we truly?...more likely we learn not to think of it as love. We learn to find a mask to put on love’s face so that we will mistake her for someone else…
-a death mask?-
We listen, but pretend we do not hear…we are interested very much but pretend we indifferent…does the closure comes when what we feared once has become our reality?
-a silence?-
No one’s stopping by to check on you each day. It is you who supposed to do that. It is you to take care of you. You will be all alone. You’ll either hate it or love it. Learn to use this time selfishly; it’s important and legal for you to have pleasure in your life. Look around and notice how nothing changed. Eventually we all learn how to cross that line from being optimist to being cynic…cynic is not that bad, you know. Cynics are optimists too. They just choose to have low expectations, so that they can come true eventually. A way of fooling yourself into believing this life is the best what happened to you.
-do you believe in afterlife?-
I do not know. Last time I knocked that door, there was Nobody home. What a great song to die to in a road accident, isn’t she? I used to imagine my own death once. It involved Pink Floyd.
-I’ve grown up from this silly dream-