Daybreak.
Fri Sep 12 2008

When day breaks who fixes it?...
The week started from the wrong foot and successfully walked into even more shit…serves me right, right? It appears that it was not just the car and the house that needs fixing and the lesson learned: you only can do certain things when you’re ready for them. Or when they are ready for you...a bit of too much too soon and a bitten lip for a reminder to keep your mouth shut when you should…when dreams have no truth in them, the dreamers do not know until they do. I’ve been prematurely having unreasonable hopes or so it seems. Hmmmm…actually, the hopes ARE unreasonable by their definition...all is so much simpler when we stop looking into illusion and take a look in the reality mirror instead…and what do we see? Oh, hello there, Me. Me missed you. but now we are together again, Me and Me…and, perhaps, a green mean frog for a company…and it’s that dreaded weekend time again…yet another one to get through, to dive into and get over to the other shore without being drawn…there are advantages in tears – they don’t create waves. I’m being proud. That’s what I’ve been doing. Exercising pride. Funny, one can see pride at different angles. Pride as in I’m being hurt but won’t admit it, or pride as in taking less then you need…oh maybe it is pride as a material for building walls…so, here we go again – new excitingly empty weekend to look forward to and to laugh at once we’ll get to the other side of it…
Have a great one!
2 Comments
  • From:
    Jordaynne (Unauthenticated) (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Sep 13 2008
    Beautiful russian Svetlana. I so enjoyed your beautiful journey to Russia.
    What was the most striking to me was that the russian architecture is sacred with its multicoloured expressions and golden and white forms and bulbs of universes of the mind and heart. It's like the stones are written prayers across the heart and they resonnate deeply in your heart. I especially enjoyed the intercession of virgin cathedral and Dormition cathedral.There is a strong magnetism to the soul of colour.
    And your poetry about the Shanya river-magnificent expression.
    I loved the poetry lines" your name is unknown and your deed is immortal. There is nothing sadder to me than standing in front of the memorial flame where my soldier uncle was commemorated. He lost his life at 22.War is so profoundly empty.

    Was that you in the white jump suit. How sweet.
    Congratulations on having such a beautiful memorable journey and for doing such a beautiful poetic job of recording it here in your journal.

    love and light
    Jordaynne.
  • From:
    Darrenlee (Unauthenticated) (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Sep 14 2008
    i am doing such a wonderful job at being cold, i have no desire for love. this is just one of my many cold diaries expressing how unimportant love is