When someone makes an unpleasant comment about your looks, you become justly upset. But what about when you look in the mirror and it is you to criticise what you see. We can be so merciless to us when we really have no good reason for that.
Do we really know how the others see us, when they look at us. What are we in the eyes of another? Are we fat? Skinny? Do they even notice that little wrinkle around my eyes that upset me so much this morning? When I think of it, I tried to remember those I get to see every day or every now and then. And I suddenly realised that it is not the shape or skin condition that I remember of the people around me. But I remember how someone “looked great” or someone other – “looked miserable”. And when I tried to think of what exactly was so great in their look or what gave away their misery, I cannot honestly remember. I only recalled what their “general” image reflected. It was nothing to do with the pounds or inches or the colour of their hair or the absence of hair at all. It appears that when I see someone, I do not pay attention to what they look like. I only notice HOW they looked.
And I thought further…that perhaps, it only matters to us how others perceive us because we have issues with the way how we perceive ourselves? If I am not paying attention to the forms and shapes of another, what makes me think, they will pay attention to mine? We are so involved in our OWN body that we rarely take the time to focus on that of others. But in truth everyone is focused on their own terrible self-image. Why is that we can fail to notice another being fat or skinny, freckled or wrinkled, but we never forgive ourselves a tiny imperfection. Wouldn’t it be great if we could extend the same kindness to ourselves that we extend to the others…
I forgot who said this: “…you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.” I do not know what another see when they look at me. But I hope when I am meeting people, I am the one who looks like me. And that's how I wish people to perceive me.
Do we really know how the others see us, when they look at us. What are we in the eyes of another? Are we fat? Skinny? Do they even notice that little wrinkle around my eyes that upset me so much this morning? When I think of it, I tried to remember those I get to see every day or every now and then. And I suddenly realised that it is not the shape or skin condition that I remember of the people around me. But I remember how someone “looked great” or someone other – “looked miserable”. And when I tried to think of what exactly was so great in their look or what gave away their misery, I cannot honestly remember. I only recalled what their “general” image reflected. It was nothing to do with the pounds or inches or the colour of their hair or the absence of hair at all. It appears that when I see someone, I do not pay attention to what they look like. I only notice HOW they looked.
And I thought further…that perhaps, it only matters to us how others perceive us because we have issues with the way how we perceive ourselves? If I am not paying attention to the forms and shapes of another, what makes me think, they will pay attention to mine? We are so involved in our OWN body that we rarely take the time to focus on that of others. But in truth everyone is focused on their own terrible self-image. Why is that we can fail to notice another being fat or skinny, freckled or wrinkled, but we never forgive ourselves a tiny imperfection. Wouldn’t it be great if we could extend the same kindness to ourselves that we extend to the others…
I forgot who said this: “…you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.” I do not know what another see when they look at me. But I hope when I am meeting people, I am the one who looks like me. And that's how I wish people to perceive me.