I had to kick myself to get out of my bubble. Not because I feel guilty for not writing, but because the E-Nuff edge has been reached yet again and I feel the need to do something different to that which I had enough of.
I’ve been driving to work today thinking of those people I came across in my life…don’t know what made me so sentimental…some I miss, at times more then I believe I should. It was their choice after all. There is a poignant relief in the act of letting go. We cut the ties that kept us together not because they became unbearable, but because for one or another it was a natural part of their growth. It is interesting that among those few who left my life, abruptly or gradually none did it for the reason of a quarrel. I never lost friends due to the row or hurt or misunderstanding. They just had to go when it was time for them. And while I’m content that things are as they are, every now and again I still miss some. There is this theory that when we lost someone, there is an empty space in our heart that has to be filled by another. Somehow I do not buy this. The emptiness is there forever. Each of those who meant something for me was so unique, it never occurs to me I have to find another similar to take their space instead. I do not mind my heart to have those holes. I fill them with good memories of those who created them. Sentimental I am today…must be that kind of a season.
It is almost Autumn. And Autumn is my favourite time. Time when I feel in tune with the natural changes...I feel the “seasonal” urge to fly away. A bird of passage. Or, perhaps, I just am tired doing stuff. I cannot forget the words of my lodger that I’m wasting my life on things that do not matter when I have alternatives – things that I’d love to do instead.
The latest news on the room make over project: it’s done. Well, the furniture still needs to be put back, which will be my heavy-duty task for weekend. But the room has now got the look and feel that I like and that’s what is important, right? Being insane lady as I am, I ended up doing it twice. Yep. Couldn’t put my mind to the new look when I wallpapered it first time, didn’t feel good enough deep in heart. So one fine morning I woke up and said to myself: if you don’t like it dear, change it, it is all just up to you, imagine that! So wallpaper has been stripped again and a new one put up. And now all is perfect. In the end of a day I’ve only lost two days to the failed project. But I’m going to live there and feel good for much more then that, so to my opinion it was worth it.
I’ve been driving to work today thinking of those people I came across in my life…don’t know what made me so sentimental…some I miss, at times more then I believe I should. It was their choice after all. There is a poignant relief in the act of letting go. We cut the ties that kept us together not because they became unbearable, but because for one or another it was a natural part of their growth. It is interesting that among those few who left my life, abruptly or gradually none did it for the reason of a quarrel. I never lost friends due to the row or hurt or misunderstanding. They just had to go when it was time for them. And while I’m content that things are as they are, every now and again I still miss some. There is this theory that when we lost someone, there is an empty space in our heart that has to be filled by another. Somehow I do not buy this. The emptiness is there forever. Each of those who meant something for me was so unique, it never occurs to me I have to find another similar to take their space instead. I do not mind my heart to have those holes. I fill them with good memories of those who created them. Sentimental I am today…must be that kind of a season.
It is almost Autumn. And Autumn is my favourite time. Time when I feel in tune with the natural changes...I feel the “seasonal” urge to fly away. A bird of passage. Or, perhaps, I just am tired doing stuff. I cannot forget the words of my lodger that I’m wasting my life on things that do not matter when I have alternatives – things that I’d love to do instead.
The latest news on the room make over project: it’s done. Well, the furniture still needs to be put back, which will be my heavy-duty task for weekend. But the room has now got the look and feel that I like and that’s what is important, right? Being insane lady as I am, I ended up doing it twice. Yep. Couldn’t put my mind to the new look when I wallpapered it first time, didn’t feel good enough deep in heart. So one fine morning I woke up and said to myself: if you don’t like it dear, change it, it is all just up to you, imagine that! So wallpaper has been stripped again and a new one put up. And now all is perfect. In the end of a day I’ve only lost two days to the failed project. But I’m going to live there and feel good for much more then that, so to my opinion it was worth it.