I’ve been thinking lately how when I was married and had a husband "available at short notice" by my side, I used to rather dream of a hug, a kiss, a simple touch, the intimacy seemed to be missing from my life in the latest married years. Sex wasn't, but it was just it. Sex. Not a connection. Just a physical need. Something I read elsewhere made me think of it. How strange that in the last three years I do not seem to miss intimacy that much anymore. In fact, it appears, I do not miss it at all. Isn’t it a coincidence that once the opportunity of having it when I want it has gone, the need has gone as well. I always thought we tend to want that which we cannot have. But with sex it simply doesn’t work this way. But then it could be just me and my own skewed perception of the subject, I don’t know. It doesn’t upset me a single bit, when before, when I used to be a married woman, the absense of a sexual need would've been a nudging worry. I hear many people saying how after breakup they miss sex and intimacy. I’m puzzled that I do not feel the same way. I’m not blind to it. I am a witness to how most of social interactions revolve around the subject of sex. I can recognise a certain interest in some eyes, I can understand the occasional hints I’m receiving. I just am not interested enough to make anything out of it. In fact, it amuses me how much people think about sex in their everyday’s life. How blunt some of them can be pursuing the objective. It warps me sometimes how some would express their needs. I’m kind of slightly mystified why all of this doesn’t affect me at all. In my married days it would’ve light the spark and set me off on a mission. But nowadays…As if my mind decided this part of life is no longer needed for my happyeverafter and it shuts the receptors leaving me an indifferent observer. Do we really need sex for fulfilment? Will I ever find myself in a state of physical need, being turned on or this adjustment is for life. Is sex really is irrelevant to the happiness, as it seems now. Sometimes I do wonder…