MissTick
Thingish Things

It is impossible to be perfect and to have it perfect too. In fact, scrap that, it is impossible to be perfect. Period. No matter how I might be proud of myself, respect myself, even love myself, perfect I am not. Never was. Never will. Gee, just one look in the mirror could’ve tell me that long ago…and thank you for not listening, my dear. So you thought, you are perfect?! The consolation, of course, is in understanding that one doesn’t have to be perfect, just be perfect for another. And who can tell who is perfect for whom, if not those otherones? Throughout our whole life we are priced by those whom we allow to evaluate us. Of course, I would prefer to say – to value us, but the choice of a word doesn’t matter, whatever you’d call it, it is our worth, The Price Tag. Of our soul, our heart, of our everythingelse. How much a human being invests into another human being…exactly how much they consider them worthy. So when we speak of a give-and-take balance, we are, in fact, just talking of a “spending habits”. How much you are prepared to give. What investments would you accept. Do you just want to have it or make a profit out of it. Do you wish to put all you have into another or being a careful spender, only willing to pay monthly fees. Life, love and economy work pretty much under the same rules. Some take the risks, some cheat, some do nothing safely hiding their head in the sands of their dreams, quietly preserving their savings. There is no penalty for doing either of that. Only responsibility. Any path you choose, you are allowed to walk as you pleased. As long as you do not mislead the others who happened to join you for a walk or for a part of it. When you love and when you leave have the decency to face another. And honour them with the truth. They deserve it for being your travel companion, for a moment or for forever.

I'm tired. Wednesdays are not my days. I have finally completed the Appeal against Appeal. This has been sent off to the tribunal now. Amount of hope attached - next to none. But at least when I receive a definitive response, I will be able to say now I've done everything, every thing I can. I asked for support of my MP and he let me down by saying "we have no resources, nor it would be appropriate..." oh well, was worth a try anyway, in the end of a day now I know not to bother to vote in the next elections. If I still will be in this country for the next elections, that is. Wednesdays are mean to me. There are millions of reasons why they are, yet not a single one to choose as a main one. Just happens this way.

It is June already. Summer is officially here and the annoyance of a heat and a polen and seemingly purpose-ness of my days begin to take its tall. I feel getting older more in summers. Not in body. In my heart and soul. Summer just started and already I'm dreaming of the Fall...of the fallen leaves lying in piles ready to decompost...there is something familiar in the scent of it...gee, doesn't this entry sound depressing...cheer up, Misstick, you still have a life to live and a diary to write.