MissTick
Thingish Things

Things happen to us for a reason…or maybe they do not, but it is more comforting to think that they are. And I do. Think this way. I do not mean that after something have happened to me, I go back pondering why. I’ve noticed how I learned to “pin” events that come into my life with some sort of “post-it notes”. A something special about it. So later, when I remember the event, mind helpfully spotlights the associated note. And suddenly it all become clear why this or that have happened. I didn’t do it on intention, like invent this method and then use it. But quite opposite, I’ve been doing it for some time and only now realised what this means. Not that I cared before, mind you. But sometimes you discover something about yourself and it gives you that fuzzy warm feeling like saying awww isn’t it neat…

After previous weekend with the guests from Essex, this week I have another visitor. The ex-before-ex lodger came over. It strokes me warmly that people want to return to my house again. Of course the house is not perfect and not as comfortable for a visitor as it could’ve been made should I have money and time to spare. However, last week’s guest, when she was leaving, said to me that she was worried coming over for as she knows she usually feels uneasy in stranger’s places, but apparently, as she walked into my house, she felt at home straight away. How cool is that. Then take Tom – the ex-ex-lodger. Staying with me at the moment. You’d think why would a young man with a lot of other existing alternatives for a short break wants to go back to the place he only spent half-a-year of his life long time ago. I have to say when he told me he wants to come, for a moment it felt as I was holding that fuzzy thingy in my hands. I like the fact that people are drawn to my home. Makes me feel proud of it. And makes me love it even more. Why shouldn’t I. It is, after all, MY home now.

For a young man and in a way young spoilt man (for it seems like his parents have the means to warrant any of his wish so far), Tom is rather too wise then you would expect him to be. We talk a lot and at times he would just say something and it is like a lightening across my mind…the a-ha moment…as if it suddenly clears out the debris of my own mind. He mentioned once speaking about his own life “I recon, I have ONLY somewhat 50 years left to live, it is actually not too much and I do not want to waste them on something I do not enjoy”. Sparked few thoughts of my own.

He was away for a year. He asked do you have anyone in your life now, I said no and attempted to justify it with something pitiful, like “I’m just finally beginning to enjoy being on my own…” he nods no, this is not the reason, but excuse. I didn’t dare to go deeper into this discussion; being afraid he might see through and point something that I am avoiding looking at myself. How on earth can a guy the same age as my son see that much. We are not even close friends. And hardly communicated since he left. I think there are people who know by learning and then there are people with the natural gift of insight. Whichever way, when he’ll leave I will definitely have few thoughts pinned up.