How hard it is to say good bye to a dream you have when you have reached a deep and clear understanding of that dream never to be true. We may have the dreams of our life and part with them effortlessly and we can have a rare dream which stands outside of our scope of needs and affects nothing but it feels like the end of the world when she’s lost.
I remember my childhood dream, we all dream in childhood, don’t we? We dream of becoming the heroes of our times, of becoming firemen, policemen, teachers and artists, dreams of childhood are always covered in romantic haze, don’t they? No child dreams of becoming an engineer, a programmer or fork lift driver. Well, maybe some kids can be enticed by watching the forklift in action…anyway. What I am saying is that it seems that our childhood dreams, which are, essentially, the dreams of the biggest scale, are the ones we can easily loose in our life’s ways and the whole meaning of our existence can become something we never thought of as kids.
Funny enough, what I have dreamed of in my childhood had become true in a somewhat partial way. As long as I remember while my girlfriends were playing “teachers&firemen”, I was riding local buses secretly playing a role of a…tour guide…please look to your right…please look to your left…sharing the wonders of my local world was always my inspiration. Well, I didn’t become a travel guide, but I do travel a lot and I do have the urge to share what I’ve seen in my travels. And when I am having guests around, my favourite time is time when I can take them around to appreciate the place they are visiting. So, in a way, my childhood inspirations did come true, not exactly in a way I expected, still very close to what I used to consider an ideal.
Over the course of Life as it happens dreams come and go, some silly, just for a laugh, others painful, yet there is always the beginning and the end of it, it seems. For every dream there is a time. And when a dream settled down within our heart and mind and we gave her all we can to help her through to become true, and still she didn’t…it is not easy to draw a line and say this is it. This is where I have to stop giving and file a dream into my box of treasured memories. This is the hardest part. To accept the truth. And to find peace with it. There is always that nagging hesitation of what if as soon as I stop there will be opportunity to turn it all back on, to fire the fuses, to start the engine, what if there is another bend on the road, currently hidden from my sight. What if the circumstances changed, the mind altered. This is what makes it so hard to stop dreaming. The hope is always the last one to go. And so we do hope, and we do hold on to what used to be a joyful dream and now is a painful illusion. Yet the soul clutched onto the thinning thread of hope unwilling to let it go. Easy it is to relinquish your grip of the rod when you’ve got another one to safely land into. Hard it is to say good bye to the one last dream you have when she’s expired.