We moved office about a year ago. And I had to join the merry crowd of public transport users. After first week of commuting from Park&Ride to work I bought myself wireless headphones for my player to cut off the world’s noise which started to annoy me to no extend. But occasionally you do come across individuals with the vocal power significantly exceeding the threshold. So unwillingly I do hear some conversations here and there. I am a patient person. But public transport seems to have this magical power to bring out the worst in me. It affects me like a moon affects the werewolf and I’m suffering from that natural urge to sank my teeth into someone’s throat.
I was on a bus this morning. I had a gun. In my imagination, that is. I hear a lady picking up her mobile as soon as she plunged her bum onto the seat in front of me. Bang! No more talks of “what doctor said…”. Two girls on a back tweeting away about “global issues of teenage fashion” . Bang! Bang! Ahhhh…blissful silence…and then the guys right behind me…oh boy…obviously, colleagues, met on their way to work. There are usually the three of them, every day, same time, same bus as mine (unless I overslept and made it for the next run) A thought of a gun was conceived from these particular bus-mates after a long lasting hate affair. I can never understand the need to talk to your work colleagues outside of the office. And, gee, could guys be so much chatty anyway!? Every day, every bloody day I’m listening to the most annoying voices talking of the most annoying things and even music cannot shelter me from the cruelty of it. Bang! Bang! Bang! I carry my gun every day. And every day I point it at these particular travel fellows and pull the trigger with such a pleasure, one could say it’s orgasmic.
But today I held-up for a bit. Their conversation this morning made me laugh madly. They started to discuss the cars, of course. Two older blocks were doing all they can to convince the younger one that when looking for a new car, he has to think in terms of “family”. Basically, the younger one seemed to be married recently and was going to get a car. So the older “members of the brotherhood” have shared their “wisdom” with him. They said: you need to buy a “family” car, so that you can fit the kids and grocery shopping and whatnots in it. The youngish inexperienced family guy was reluctant to be convinced. He argued that three doors smallish thing would do him nicely and that he hasn’t got any plans for extending his little family yet. To which the older one replied wisely: none of us had, believe me, none of us, it just happens to all of us regardless whether we wished it or not…he said it with such a sentiment in his voice and even sighed at the end…it cracked me up and I laughed instead of shooting. Oh the poor men species! All these nasty surprises of nature waiting for them in ambush in the wilderness of life’s jungle! Just when you set your eyes on a pretty little sporty number…your missus bursts your bubble with her silly question “where do I stick the child seat, dear?” Honestly, people, how could she…Bang! Bang! Bang!