Today I had woken up early after going to sleep prtty early because I was feeling really sick after work and after David came. Yeah, I know, I started off ok with starving and then yesterday I had some milk, oreos, pop, water with lemon, a cookie and later on after work, whta'd I do? I made a brownie, soy sauce ranch dressing sandwich with sugar and ate it, and I also nope, that was all, I started feeling real sick, and kind of quilty for myself while leaning on David, I'll get to that in my entry for yesterday, and I already left the room to smoke away from david, because it bothers him a little and out of respect and also embarrasment. So instead of going to the restroom to do my thing, I waited till later. I didn't throw it up though, I just told myself to not eat today, which didn't happen, I need to get stricter with myself, I went swimming today and as soon as the people with me saw me in my swiming suit, they tried to drown themselves, no, just kidding, but I'm surprised.
Ok, so mom is waking me up, and I was only really lite sleeping then, I think form like 7:30 till 9 something, because my eyes were closed but the littlest sound could make me open them which is unlike me when I ever actually do fall asleep. I think that starving makes you more tired, I know food is for energy and without it you have none, but I guess it's hard for me to grasp the concept since I'm always so dang tired anyway. A 16 year old who wishes she could sleep everything away.
Oh, I thought of something earlier I wanted to add real quick, before I forget again, I'm trying to think of some unusual things to ask people like to get to know them, I want like a 100, they have to be really odd like have you ever been sprayed by a skunk? Have you ever delivered a baby? trapped in an elevator? been in a accident, like a plane, train, car? ridden in a hot air balloon? been followed or spied on? been set up for a crime? caused a biggish fire? (as a future firefighter, I'm telling,....) been involved with the media? been in a coma? experienced some form of life after death? written a published book? been in a movie? rode in a limo? stuff like that, now, all these are copy righted by ME, so,... don't take them from me! That's plagerisim! Just kidding. ;) not all of these are that creative I guess.
Ok, back to my day before I forget, I still need a shower, clothes, dishes and bed, too, but I came downstairs and mom and the dhs lady was here and I don't even now what they were talking about but I came then and Gracie came to pick me up, she took me tothe art muesam and we met another counselor and a boy there, he is staying at the respite I was at now! He said that he hasn't seen or met Felicia, the "drill sargent" there. So I guess she doen't work there anymore, or is on vacation, maybe. I hope that I can still somehow see her when and if I ever go there to visit! After that me and gracie went to a mcdonalds and I wish that I didn't do that, because I'm in love with mcdonalds and ate a #3 a quarter pounder with cheese and fries and coke, Gracie told em to get her whatever I was getting, but since she is nine months pregnant now I gave her a sprite instead. No caffeine, that would be hard for me to do if I was pregnant, too. I'd have to have just a little bit of pop every day, speaking of, afterwards she had a med eval to do so I waited poutside in the very bad heat and humiddity and the she took me home, it was about two hours after mcdonalds when mom took me to eat dinner, needless to say I only had a few bites, most left on the table. Oh, and I was talking to mom about David, whom I am starting to really fall in love with, don't laugh, I don't believe in puppy love. I mean, I do, but that's not what this is, it must be love. :) So right while I'm talking to her about that, she says, oh, your doctors appointment is on August 2nd. I innocently asked what appointment, I knew, but it was funny how she said that after I mentioned David, I would nvere tell her I'm having sex with him, I'm not afraid, it's just none of her business. She doesn't want to know because she loves and cares aboout me, or out of curiosity., like Gracie earlier, she asked, I said yep. It didn't bother me. She's like a big sister in a way. A real one, not one like Delores, speaking of our past and what happened in New York. My doctors appointment is to have a depo shot, birth control. Gracie asked me after I was telling her how wonderful of a person he is and how lucky I am, if I was in love with him, I guess so, maybe :)
Well, we went to eat, mom and I, I saw my friend Charice, whom I love to death but she's more with Teri, I guess, but she's great, and no, I love her, but not like THAT,.. what were you thinking!!! Oh, Gracie said something at the meeting I'll talk about later at dads yesterday, about me being borderline personality, she likes to try to diagnose things, she's not a damn therapist though, or any kind of doctor, so who knows. I diagnose myself as an exetremly emotional and sensitive child who's parents, prime supporters supposably, haven't helped much in the way of emotional needs. Oh, well, life goes on, bla da di di DI I listened to a song recently about she sings life goes on or something like that.
Well, i went to work, a little late because I forgot and left the washer lid open and so it took longer for me to wash my clothes then dry them, butthen I left because a guy name Brian, not the one that lived with us but one that bowls a lot with us, he came to work to see if I wanted to go to laser tag afterwards and of course I did! We had fun, I lost a beacelet and earlier thought I lost a ring that Ms. B gave me, but found it almost going down the drain in the bathrooma and after that we went swimming at his dads house, I didn't want to get out, I guess I'm more used to cold water then them, from the swimming at school, where at 7:20 when the bell rang in the morning we had to get our butts in the water before we received a failing grade, and it was very cold, esp. after the weekends.
Well, I'm home now, my mind is spinning around, oh, my dream was yesterday that I was in a hospital I guess as a nurse and I saved two people, I love people. I don't really rememeber anything other then that. Well, it's after midnight and a girl that Teri knows is coming over, having a problem with a family member, so I better get a bed ready for her, night! I'm NOT eating tomorrrow or I'll feel really bad :( I blew it today and yesterday.
Ok, so mom is waking me up, and I was only really lite sleeping then, I think form like 7:30 till 9 something, because my eyes were closed but the littlest sound could make me open them which is unlike me when I ever actually do fall asleep. I think that starving makes you more tired, I know food is for energy and without it you have none, but I guess it's hard for me to grasp the concept since I'm always so dang tired anyway. A 16 year old who wishes she could sleep everything away.
Oh, I thought of something earlier I wanted to add real quick, before I forget again, I'm trying to think of some unusual things to ask people like to get to know them, I want like a 100, they have to be really odd like have you ever been sprayed by a skunk? Have you ever delivered a baby? trapped in an elevator? been in a accident, like a plane, train, car? ridden in a hot air balloon? been followed or spied on? been set up for a crime? caused a biggish fire? (as a future firefighter, I'm telling,....) been involved with the media? been in a coma? experienced some form of life after death? written a published book? been in a movie? rode in a limo? stuff like that, now, all these are copy righted by ME, so,... don't take them from me! That's plagerisim! Just kidding. ;) not all of these are that creative I guess.
Ok, back to my day before I forget, I still need a shower, clothes, dishes and bed, too, but I came downstairs and mom and the dhs lady was here and I don't even now what they were talking about but I came then and Gracie came to pick me up, she took me tothe art muesam and we met another counselor and a boy there, he is staying at the respite I was at now! He said that he hasn't seen or met Felicia, the "drill sargent" there. So I guess she doen't work there anymore, or is on vacation, maybe. I hope that I can still somehow see her when and if I ever go there to visit! After that me and gracie went to a mcdonalds and I wish that I didn't do that, because I'm in love with mcdonalds and ate a #3 a quarter pounder with cheese and fries and coke, Gracie told em to get her whatever I was getting, but since she is nine months pregnant now I gave her a sprite instead. No caffeine, that would be hard for me to do if I was pregnant, too. I'd have to have just a little bit of pop every day, speaking of, afterwards she had a med eval to do so I waited poutside in the very bad heat and humiddity and the she took me home, it was about two hours after mcdonalds when mom took me to eat dinner, needless to say I only had a few bites, most left on the table. Oh, and I was talking to mom about David, whom I am starting to really fall in love with, don't laugh, I don't believe in puppy love. I mean, I do, but that's not what this is, it must be love. :) So right while I'm talking to her about that, she says, oh, your doctors appointment is on August 2nd. I innocently asked what appointment, I knew, but it was funny how she said that after I mentioned David, I would nvere tell her I'm having sex with him, I'm not afraid, it's just none of her business. She doesn't want to know because she loves and cares aboout me, or out of curiosity., like Gracie earlier, she asked, I said yep. It didn't bother me. She's like a big sister in a way. A real one, not one like Delores, speaking of our past and what happened in New York. My doctors appointment is to have a depo shot, birth control. Gracie asked me after I was telling her how wonderful of a person he is and how lucky I am, if I was in love with him, I guess so, maybe :)
Well, we went to eat, mom and I, I saw my friend Charice, whom I love to death but she's more with Teri, I guess, but she's great, and no, I love her, but not like THAT,.. what were you thinking!!! Oh, Gracie said something at the meeting I'll talk about later at dads yesterday, about me being borderline personality, she likes to try to diagnose things, she's not a damn therapist though, or any kind of doctor, so who knows. I diagnose myself as an exetremly emotional and sensitive child who's parents, prime supporters supposably, haven't helped much in the way of emotional needs. Oh, well, life goes on, bla da di di DI I listened to a song recently about she sings life goes on or something like that.
Well, i went to work, a little late because I forgot and left the washer lid open and so it took longer for me to wash my clothes then dry them, butthen I left because a guy name Brian, not the one that lived with us but one that bowls a lot with us, he came to work to see if I wanted to go to laser tag afterwards and of course I did! We had fun, I lost a beacelet and earlier thought I lost a ring that Ms. B gave me, but found it almost going down the drain in the bathrooma and after that we went swimming at his dads house, I didn't want to get out, I guess I'm more used to cold water then them, from the swimming at school, where at 7:20 when the bell rang in the morning we had to get our butts in the water before we received a failing grade, and it was very cold, esp. after the weekends.
Well, I'm home now, my mind is spinning around, oh, my dream was yesterday that I was in a hospital I guess as a nurse and I saved two people, I love people. I don't really rememeber anything other then that. Well, it's after midnight and a girl that Teri knows is coming over, having a problem with a family member, so I better get a bed ready for her, night! I'm NOT eating tomorrrow or I'll feel really bad :( I blew it today and yesterday.