I am not feeling so crazy anymore, but still have a lot going on. I am hanging in there! Thanks, whatslost. I felt reckless the other night. I got triggered and set off from things but all that really was the matter was that I was TIRED. I have tonight, and then I have part of tomorrow in between a bridal shower and when my kids come home to get things a little more organized again somehow. Get my thinking straight. Maybe change things around.
I am thinking about trying to change our bedrooms around again. I stay in the master bedroom and both of my girls share the small one. They each have a new HUGE twin size bed and this big dresser and a little play vanity set, these princess step stool things, and a little nursery and their baby dolls and some clothes and shoes in their closet. Their playroom is currently on top of the dining room table that doesn't get used anymore again, and they really don't have much room to play in there, anways. My expecting cousin and her bf are on my couch. I think that I don't mind giving them the small room with my furniture for the time being, using the master bedroom as a bedroom for me and my girls, and a playroom, and I can easily sleep on this thing I call a chair bed. It's not ideal, but it seems like the best situation for our circumstances at the time. I may have to start on it slowly, and get some help, but I am sure it'll be good. Maybe it'll help me not stay on the computer so long into the night, being in a different room and all. Plus, the girls and I will be around each other and have alone times more, and maybe we will all get used to waking up at the same time every day. I could start spring cleaning early, too.
I didn't eat today. I just didn't really feel like it. I feel a little sick now, which isn't comon from one day of restricting, but I am just going to try to not end up bingeing tonight. Tomorrow I will try t9o starrt over with recovering because it can go either way right now, but I am going to try really hard to wake up, feel hungry and just eat some breakfast. I am going to eat lunch at 12, and just be really careful about what I might eat or snack on at the bridal shower, and then eat my dinner around 5. I want things to go right, and I just need to work even harder right now. I am feeling better, now, just gotta get on track!
I am excited about my trip in about 5 weeks, my birthday is coming up but I just don't feel like it's all that special anymore, except that I might get to go to the circus with the girls again! My car is fine again, we have lot's of food and I will get to see my church family at this shower tomorrow, and while it may feel a little ackward I am going to try to have fun. I love the friend that's son is getting married, and the son and the bride are great people, too. I hope my cousin is ok, I don't spend a lot of quality time with her even though she is here. She heard her baby move for the first time today, and I barely even listened to her, but I am trying to get nice again. I do love her, I just have been feeling horribly and haven't been able to fake good cheer. I feel like I have been siolated though I bet I seem bitchy to them.