Today I was very upset, and feeling a lot of different emotions. Earlier I got on the bus and when we picked my best friend up, she sat with me and sghe told me that she took some pills, and that she was feeling sick but couldn't make herself throw up from it, nauseas.
I said, ( I'll call her Sue on here) Sue! How many pills did you take? And what kinds, when, she said there was a bunch of different kinds including some pain killers and syhe just grabbed a few out of each bottle.
I asked why and at first she said I don't know, and then she told me that she was mad at her mom, and she took them, because she was trying to get something out of the closet and her mom came in mad and called her a dumbass.
She took them sometime around midnight, one. We were on the bus about a quarter till seven.
It never occured to me that she od'd, I guess from her vagness about taking some pills but suddenly I said, Sue, were you trying to kill yourself?
Well, we made a plan since I told her we had to tell to where I would talk to the nurse and we'd call her down and she could talk to her, so that she wouldn't have to, and when she said she didn't want her mom to know I bluntly said that she will find out. I've been through he experience enough with my past ods on pills and laxes so I told her what to expect, that the poison control center would be called, she'd be asked questions to answer honestly for her benefit and that someone would have to tell her mom, and stuff like that.
We never made it there, she did go to see the nurse on her own, though. I went into the office to work and I saw one of our seciurity guards and a policeman there, and I told the nurse,. even though I figured she was busy with someone that I HAD to talk to her. She said, I know, and Sue told me that she told you about it, and we have her in here now. I went into shock, I wasn't preparedd for that emergency, I stood there and kept saying that I needed to see her, thinking my earlier hug isn't enough to tell her I care, I didn't know how serious it was and I felt so helpless.
The nurse sent me to another office with some records and I walked out with them, trying not to look at the medics coming in with the strecture, my best friends stretcher and I partly ran to a more private part od the wall and just started crying, right there where anyone could've walked past and seen me, clutching the envelopes and crying. I finally left and did my job and then when I came back, I saw the ambulance, and thought, she's in there! Wait!!! I was ready to run out there for some reason. But no, when I got to the door it was pulling away. I was kind of numb in the office after that, pretty quiet, mostly thinking. The nurse was nice to me and she tried to explain what was going on to me, as she told another person, I was allowed to hear most of it since Sue told me first, so it asn't confidential, which is a thing in the office. I had Sue's school agenda she left there for a while, it comforted me while I reluctantly filled ice bags.
I was in bad shape for the rest of the day, wondering. In algerbra I didn't start on my homework, just sat there. In my other classes I started trying hard to focus but it was a hard thing to do.
I mean, this girl is special to me, and I hate how people like me really think about that until something serious comes along, where you could lose that person. Like when someone does die, that's when you look back mosttly at all of the good things they've done.
This is the girl that dyed my hair for the first time, taught me how to shave my legs, started a baby food diet with me, had slumber parties with me, has the same midle name, jumped in a pool this summer with me with our clothes still on, has been around since she was in k, and she's a year younger then me, her b day is October 17th, too.
I finally got a hold of her mom on the phone, though, and to my surprise Sue was home!!! I talked to her forever, wishing there was something I could do that would really help. She's going to go into partial hospitalization, so I on't see her as much but she will be ghome after school.
Today when I go to school I will take these cards with me, ones a card where a lot of people can write messages to her, and one's a speial one just for me. I am getting off now, thopugh because I'm still hurting from everything, what I did, didn't do, what she did, what's she is doing now, worrying, et cetera. Good night
I said, ( I'll call her Sue on here) Sue! How many pills did you take? And what kinds, when, she said there was a bunch of different kinds including some pain killers and syhe just grabbed a few out of each bottle.
I asked why and at first she said I don't know, and then she told me that she was mad at her mom, and she took them, because she was trying to get something out of the closet and her mom came in mad and called her a dumbass.
She took them sometime around midnight, one. We were on the bus about a quarter till seven.
It never occured to me that she od'd, I guess from her vagness about taking some pills but suddenly I said, Sue, were you trying to kill yourself?
Well, we made a plan since I told her we had to tell to where I would talk to the nurse and we'd call her down and she could talk to her, so that she wouldn't have to, and when she said she didn't want her mom to know I bluntly said that she will find out. I've been through he experience enough with my past ods on pills and laxes so I told her what to expect, that the poison control center would be called, she'd be asked questions to answer honestly for her benefit and that someone would have to tell her mom, and stuff like that.
We never made it there, she did go to see the nurse on her own, though. I went into the office to work and I saw one of our seciurity guards and a policeman there, and I told the nurse,. even though I figured she was busy with someone that I HAD to talk to her. She said, I know, and Sue told me that she told you about it, and we have her in here now. I went into shock, I wasn't preparedd for that emergency, I stood there and kept saying that I needed to see her, thinking my earlier hug isn't enough to tell her I care, I didn't know how serious it was and I felt so helpless.
The nurse sent me to another office with some records and I walked out with them, trying not to look at the medics coming in with the strecture, my best friends stretcher and I partly ran to a more private part od the wall and just started crying, right there where anyone could've walked past and seen me, clutching the envelopes and crying. I finally left and did my job and then when I came back, I saw the ambulance, and thought, she's in there! Wait!!! I was ready to run out there for some reason. But no, when I got to the door it was pulling away. I was kind of numb in the office after that, pretty quiet, mostly thinking. The nurse was nice to me and she tried to explain what was going on to me, as she told another person, I was allowed to hear most of it since Sue told me first, so it asn't confidential, which is a thing in the office. I had Sue's school agenda she left there for a while, it comforted me while I reluctantly filled ice bags.
I was in bad shape for the rest of the day, wondering. In algerbra I didn't start on my homework, just sat there. In my other classes I started trying hard to focus but it was a hard thing to do.
I mean, this girl is special to me, and I hate how people like me really think about that until something serious comes along, where you could lose that person. Like when someone does die, that's when you look back mosttly at all of the good things they've done.
This is the girl that dyed my hair for the first time, taught me how to shave my legs, started a baby food diet with me, had slumber parties with me, has the same midle name, jumped in a pool this summer with me with our clothes still on, has been around since she was in k, and she's a year younger then me, her b day is October 17th, too.
I finally got a hold of her mom on the phone, though, and to my surprise Sue was home!!! I talked to her forever, wishing there was something I could do that would really help. She's going to go into partial hospitalization, so I on't see her as much but she will be ghome after school.
Today when I go to school I will take these cards with me, ones a card where a lot of people can write messages to her, and one's a speial one just for me. I am getting off now, thopugh because I'm still hurting from everything, what I did, didn't do, what she did, what's she is doing now, worrying, et cetera. Good night