Hi!
I'm feeling a lot better now, the only real hard parts of today were when I sat in my usual bus seat and Sue's sister came on, and our driver asked where Sue was, she said that she won't be coming to school for like the next ten days, I'm glad they didn't talk in detail, though. It was hard enough.
The rest of the day felt normal after that. I was in the counselors office for most of my piano lab class because I had muy appointment then to ask about this, see, I really wanted to drop my computer class since it's an elective and work in this classroom then instead, I've talked to the teacher, got an application and made the appointment with the counselor just to find out I can't take another study hall, that's the class I have where I get to work in the nurses office, and if I could have another one I'd get to do this: the kids in this class are special kids, and not only because they all either have a learning disorder or a mental disability, but because to me they are immune to what I consider cruellness of being a teenager. They are the same age but what makes them different are things like, for example, a girl name Marlena I have known since elementary, today I went in to her class from the nurses because they get to do laundry for a grade, since it's a challenge to them, and they wash the blankets we use on the cots in the office. I went in there and put the blankets on the washer and Marlena saw me and came over, said Mary! and gave me a hug. She was smiling. Even Sue wouldn't come up to me in school with a big smile on her face to give me a hug just because she knows me and happens to see me. Marlena is such a sweet girl!!!
Anyways, I have a hard time explaining what I mean so I usually end up writing more, well, I would love the chance to work in their room, to help them put books in their lockers and to open their lockers and to sit with them while they do their work and help them, These kind of kids are like the angels in our school, they're the innocent ones, but they happen to get hurt so easily because of their handicapps. Like Kip, remember I mentioned my friend with cereabyl palsy??? She's a special kid, too.
Since I found out I couldn't work in there I haven't wanted to talk to the teacher yet. She wanted me to, almost as much as I wanted to. I think she could tell how much I wanted to do it, and how I have compassion for some of thiose kids, I mean, I'm not one to make fun of them or to sit there and be diusgusted with them for doing things they don't have control of, well, i wanted to do that so much!!! I love the computer but in that class I don't do much anyway, so it wouldn't have been a loss to me and I'd be spending my first class andmaking it worthwhile.
So what I'll try to do, is whe i get back on Tuesday I'll talk to the teacher and expain how I feel and work something else out. Like as long as I'm ok with my other classes, when they go on a field trip maybe I can go as a friend, even without working there, and I hope you don't think that's selfish, like I would go just to get out of school, I'd go somewhere else in school with them if I could! Or I could go in at lunchtime or when not busy with other stuff, maybe een some days after school, I'll work it out.
Well, I have gpot to go, I have a busy weekend planned, staying away from Cilla and my mom, seeing my Grandma again finally, a birthday party tomm after work, I'll eat dinner (did I mention I eat again, unfortauntly???) So love you!!! Mary
I'm feeling a lot better now, the only real hard parts of today were when I sat in my usual bus seat and Sue's sister came on, and our driver asked where Sue was, she said that she won't be coming to school for like the next ten days, I'm glad they didn't talk in detail, though. It was hard enough.
The rest of the day felt normal after that. I was in the counselors office for most of my piano lab class because I had muy appointment then to ask about this, see, I really wanted to drop my computer class since it's an elective and work in this classroom then instead, I've talked to the teacher, got an application and made the appointment with the counselor just to find out I can't take another study hall, that's the class I have where I get to work in the nurses office, and if I could have another one I'd get to do this: the kids in this class are special kids, and not only because they all either have a learning disorder or a mental disability, but because to me they are immune to what I consider cruellness of being a teenager. They are the same age but what makes them different are things like, for example, a girl name Marlena I have known since elementary, today I went in to her class from the nurses because they get to do laundry for a grade, since it's a challenge to them, and they wash the blankets we use on the cots in the office. I went in there and put the blankets on the washer and Marlena saw me and came over, said Mary! and gave me a hug. She was smiling. Even Sue wouldn't come up to me in school with a big smile on her face to give me a hug just because she knows me and happens to see me. Marlena is such a sweet girl!!!
Anyways, I have a hard time explaining what I mean so I usually end up writing more, well, I would love the chance to work in their room, to help them put books in their lockers and to open their lockers and to sit with them while they do their work and help them, These kind of kids are like the angels in our school, they're the innocent ones, but they happen to get hurt so easily because of their handicapps. Like Kip, remember I mentioned my friend with cereabyl palsy??? She's a special kid, too.
Since I found out I couldn't work in there I haven't wanted to talk to the teacher yet. She wanted me to, almost as much as I wanted to. I think she could tell how much I wanted to do it, and how I have compassion for some of thiose kids, I mean, I'm not one to make fun of them or to sit there and be diusgusted with them for doing things they don't have control of, well, i wanted to do that so much!!! I love the computer but in that class I don't do much anyway, so it wouldn't have been a loss to me and I'd be spending my first class andmaking it worthwhile.
So what I'll try to do, is whe i get back on Tuesday I'll talk to the teacher and expain how I feel and work something else out. Like as long as I'm ok with my other classes, when they go on a field trip maybe I can go as a friend, even without working there, and I hope you don't think that's selfish, like I would go just to get out of school, I'd go somewhere else in school with them if I could! Or I could go in at lunchtime or when not busy with other stuff, maybe een some days after school, I'll work it out.
Well, I have gpot to go, I have a busy weekend planned, staying away from Cilla and my mom, seeing my Grandma again finally, a birthday party tomm after work, I'll eat dinner (did I mention I eat again, unfortauntly???) So love you!!! Mary