January 29, 2002
Today was the worst, the saddest day of my life. It didn't start out that way.
I went to school as usual, then had to go to my Grandma's after school until later on when someone could pick me up, because my fster mom had to go somewhere straight from work, like to a cleaning job or something. Grandma made sure I did my homework, and then we ordered pizza for dinner, and I walked down to the pizza place to pick it up. It tasted very good, I had a kid's pizza which I dipped in some ranch dressing, but halfway through eating it, the phone rang.
I picked it up, It was my therapist. I love hearing from her, even unexpectably, but when shecalls, I always think right away something bad happened, or will, like she has to cancel a meeting. She said hi and seemed ok, but asked to talk to my mom. After mom hung up with her, mom told me that we had to go to the counseling office for a meeting, one that we were going to have in a couple of weeks instead, but appearantly it got changed to that night.
We got there, I was full of anxiety on the way, listening to Collin raye's cd and singing loudly to it, instead of crying about the dread I felt in my stomach, and we got there, I saw my foster parents, T was a rude bitch that night, she acted so different, I sat away from her, and I asked so what's this meeting about? She said you'll see when we get in there. J just sat there, he knew what was going on, but he wasn't saying anything probably because his wife had asked him not to, see, T andI are both controlling people, but we're different, she controls everyone to be how she wants them to be, I control and expect more of myself.
So, anyway, this meeting was because T, not J, just T but J had no voice in the matter, were asking me to leave, to go back to my mothers. Since then, well, that night I had cried, I cried only in private for the rest of the school week that I still lived with them, I still talk to J whenever I can, but I absolutely hate T for what she did, she hurt me, and she's all cold and distant now, she really is a bitch, I'm angry, but I'll survive. I can't wait to see J again, though, the last time that I saw him, I was leaving their house for good and on my way to school, he was going to work. See, When he tells me it's ok to come over and visit, I will. I know T won't like that, but it's about time J made some decisions without her approval forst, he's a grown man and lives there too, and he was my foster dad, it wasn't just the bitch as my foster mom and he was her lowly husband. That's not how it was at all.
Today was the worst, the saddest day of my life. It didn't start out that way.
I went to school as usual, then had to go to my Grandma's after school until later on when someone could pick me up, because my fster mom had to go somewhere straight from work, like to a cleaning job or something. Grandma made sure I did my homework, and then we ordered pizza for dinner, and I walked down to the pizza place to pick it up. It tasted very good, I had a kid's pizza which I dipped in some ranch dressing, but halfway through eating it, the phone rang.
I picked it up, It was my therapist. I love hearing from her, even unexpectably, but when shecalls, I always think right away something bad happened, or will, like she has to cancel a meeting. She said hi and seemed ok, but asked to talk to my mom. After mom hung up with her, mom told me that we had to go to the counseling office for a meeting, one that we were going to have in a couple of weeks instead, but appearantly it got changed to that night.
We got there, I was full of anxiety on the way, listening to Collin raye's cd and singing loudly to it, instead of crying about the dread I felt in my stomach, and we got there, I saw my foster parents, T was a rude bitch that night, she acted so different, I sat away from her, and I asked so what's this meeting about? She said you'll see when we get in there. J just sat there, he knew what was going on, but he wasn't saying anything probably because his wife had asked him not to, see, T andI are both controlling people, but we're different, she controls everyone to be how she wants them to be, I control and expect more of myself.
So, anyway, this meeting was because T, not J, just T but J had no voice in the matter, were asking me to leave, to go back to my mothers. Since then, well, that night I had cried, I cried only in private for the rest of the school week that I still lived with them, I still talk to J whenever I can, but I absolutely hate T for what she did, she hurt me, and she's all cold and distant now, she really is a bitch, I'm angry, but I'll survive. I can't wait to see J again, though, the last time that I saw him, I was leaving their house for good and on my way to school, he was going to work. See, When he tells me it's ok to come over and visit, I will. I know T won't like that, but it's about time J made some decisions without her approval forst, he's a grown man and lives there too, and he was my foster dad, it wasn't just the bitch as my foster mom and he was her lowly husband. That's not how it was at all.