So far, since sometime last week, I have been concentrating so much more on how to eat in certain ways, and some other tricks for myself, like one day I took 3 laxatives, and I felt so good, and nott too painful, and normally I only take either 1 or a bunch, like 60 or so,and so I was happy with just three. plus I don't want to go broke so much faster and even think about resorting to something like staeling laxatives. I just wouldn't know what to do if caught! Plus, I do NOT steal.
Today I didn't worry about bringing a lunch in, and I sat by the nurse, and she asked me while still on the phone, where's your lunch? I pointed to this box of jelli bellies that she gave me earlier, and she offered me some crackers, instead, but I said no thanks, and felt so darn good!!! I mean, I didn't eat just to please her, and that was my control.
I had cashed my paycheck and took out enough money after depositing the rest so that I could do something I've always wanted to do, and it sounds really supid, but I was happy to do it. I bought about 5 bags of candy, fat free kind. I took about 20 minutes to go over which kind I'd buy, and even answered a man that came by, he said are you hungry? And I took it as you look hungry, a good thing, not a you're pigging out on candy, fat b kind of thing. I said, yes, awww, the sweet tooth or something dumb like that. He left. I continued, then had to hurry to get to work on time, and they all appreciated my sharing very much.
The only bad thing is that this just won't start going any faster, I weighed a certain amount at the nurses office with clothes on last week, that's when I jumped from the scale because one of the nurses were coming in and I didn't want to get caught, and later at home without my clothes on on our terrible scale, I loved it, I weighed 2 pounds less. Sorry, but when you're not eating at all, your weight doesn't flucuate so it's easier to keep track of and hen friday night I went to the doctors, I'm always either sick or well, when I'm not sick in some way I think that I'll be buried undergriound from being sick, anyway, I wore the thinnest clothes to the doctors so that I weighed even less, and I even changed this bra so that it's be lighter, and I weighed 2 pounds less then the one naked at home, was so happy :) had to be the laxatives, and my lovely diet. This has been going so well, after a while I used to go back to eating the way I use to, and then I would purge for a while, then like get out of the habit. Then try again, as soon as I could, which takes a lot of hardwork to get back in the habit of.
well, I have to get off, I've been messing around with this diary so much, will try to make it different again later, and I have my frist exam tomorrow, Julias Ceaser and Grammar,... english. Wish me luck, and take care!
Today I didn't worry about bringing a lunch in, and I sat by the nurse, and she asked me while still on the phone, where's your lunch? I pointed to this box of jelli bellies that she gave me earlier, and she offered me some crackers, instead, but I said no thanks, and felt so darn good!!! I mean, I didn't eat just to please her, and that was my control.
I had cashed my paycheck and took out enough money after depositing the rest so that I could do something I've always wanted to do, and it sounds really supid, but I was happy to do it. I bought about 5 bags of candy, fat free kind. I took about 20 minutes to go over which kind I'd buy, and even answered a man that came by, he said are you hungry? And I took it as you look hungry, a good thing, not a you're pigging out on candy, fat b kind of thing. I said, yes, awww, the sweet tooth or something dumb like that. He left. I continued, then had to hurry to get to work on time, and they all appreciated my sharing very much.
The only bad thing is that this just won't start going any faster, I weighed a certain amount at the nurses office with clothes on last week, that's when I jumped from the scale because one of the nurses were coming in and I didn't want to get caught, and later at home without my clothes on on our terrible scale, I loved it, I weighed 2 pounds less. Sorry, but when you're not eating at all, your weight doesn't flucuate so it's easier to keep track of and hen friday night I went to the doctors, I'm always either sick or well, when I'm not sick in some way I think that I'll be buried undergriound from being sick, anyway, I wore the thinnest clothes to the doctors so that I weighed even less, and I even changed this bra so that it's be lighter, and I weighed 2 pounds less then the one naked at home, was so happy :) had to be the laxatives, and my lovely diet. This has been going so well, after a while I used to go back to eating the way I use to, and then I would purge for a while, then like get out of the habit. Then try again, as soon as I could, which takes a lot of hardwork to get back in the habit of.
well, I have to get off, I've been messing around with this diary so much, will try to make it different again later, and I have my frist exam tomorrow, Julias Ceaser and Grammar,... english. Wish me luck, and take care!