Actually I'm really not looking forward to this week at school. I guess I'm just pretty fustrated by all of the stuff I've had to make up and am still missing, from always missing my classes from having to leave school or not go for court, dr. appointments, et cetera.
I am going camping from Nov. 7-9, Tuesday thru Thursday, and that's from school. see, Ms. B signed me up for this mentoring program at school, and until I graduate, as long as this works out, she'll be my mentor and I will do things like go out with her by myself, or as a group with the other 7 kids. There are 100 kids involved in this, 50 girls, 50 boys.
Tomorrow I will be having this weigh in with ROTC, and I have been upset because I want to make sure that I weigh less on that scale tomorrow then when I stepped on it last week, but since I have bulimia, my weight always stays around a certain point, it maintains that weight, and it also fluctiuates a lot.
Eating disorders can get a little confusing, because every person who has one they are different and each e.d. (eating disorder) I guess you can say is special, different, or unique.
Take mine for example. Bulimia is characterized as a disease where the person binges, eats a LOT of food in a short amount of time and then feels quilty and so they purge, or they'll take a bunch of laxatives, or excercise it off, or they'll not eat for the next few days and then start all over again, because it's actually an uncontrollable addiction. They eat because they feel good, then they purge (get rid of) in some way because they feel guilty about eating.
Mine is where I eat a little weird (but what is normal, anyway???) I don't ever eat breakfast, I skip lunch or eat something like a pretzel, or I'll eat a sandwich and drink a juice and purge either one, and then sometimes I'll eat a snack at home and then throw it up, then I'll eat some dinner and I'll throw up then the longest. Whenever I get my hands on laxatives I'll savor them for a while, keep them like a security blanket, I'd just know they are there, and I will take them either as an emergncy or at the right time, like when I have a whole day with no plans so I have time to keep going to the restroom and lie down, the emergencys are like tonight, I have to make sure my system is totally cleaned out so that I'll be satisfied with my weight in the morning.
Oh, my gosh. I just went to get my cup of citroma, a liquid lax that was in this cup and looked just like sprite, my mom had piucked it up, dumped it out and the cup is in the sink. I am so mad!!!!!!!!! I didn't have enough of it yet, and now that she's in bed I'm ready to go back to the store and get like two more so that I can have them,. At least I have the laxatives, though, but only ten since I didn't have that much money.
I think that I just may walk up there again, but I don't want to get in trouble for sneaking out.
I'll go in a little while if I do. OOoooh, I'm upset. She has no idea about what she did, either! Not like I'm going to tell her what she dumped out,...
I've gotta go, take care I'm sssssssooooooo mad!
I am going camping from Nov. 7-9, Tuesday thru Thursday, and that's from school. see, Ms. B signed me up for this mentoring program at school, and until I graduate, as long as this works out, she'll be my mentor and I will do things like go out with her by myself, or as a group with the other 7 kids. There are 100 kids involved in this, 50 girls, 50 boys.
Tomorrow I will be having this weigh in with ROTC, and I have been upset because I want to make sure that I weigh less on that scale tomorrow then when I stepped on it last week, but since I have bulimia, my weight always stays around a certain point, it maintains that weight, and it also fluctiuates a lot.
Eating disorders can get a little confusing, because every person who has one they are different and each e.d. (eating disorder) I guess you can say is special, different, or unique.
Take mine for example. Bulimia is characterized as a disease where the person binges, eats a LOT of food in a short amount of time and then feels quilty and so they purge, or they'll take a bunch of laxatives, or excercise it off, or they'll not eat for the next few days and then start all over again, because it's actually an uncontrollable addiction. They eat because they feel good, then they purge (get rid of) in some way because they feel guilty about eating.
Mine is where I eat a little weird (but what is normal, anyway???) I don't ever eat breakfast, I skip lunch or eat something like a pretzel, or I'll eat a sandwich and drink a juice and purge either one, and then sometimes I'll eat a snack at home and then throw it up, then I'll eat some dinner and I'll throw up then the longest. Whenever I get my hands on laxatives I'll savor them for a while, keep them like a security blanket, I'd just know they are there, and I will take them either as an emergncy or at the right time, like when I have a whole day with no plans so I have time to keep going to the restroom and lie down, the emergencys are like tonight, I have to make sure my system is totally cleaned out so that I'll be satisfied with my weight in the morning.
Oh, my gosh. I just went to get my cup of citroma, a liquid lax that was in this cup and looked just like sprite, my mom had piucked it up, dumped it out and the cup is in the sink. I am so mad!!!!!!!!! I didn't have enough of it yet, and now that she's in bed I'm ready to go back to the store and get like two more so that I can have them,. At least I have the laxatives, though, but only ten since I didn't have that much money.
I think that I just may walk up there again, but I don't want to get in trouble for sneaking out.
I'll go in a little while if I do. OOoooh, I'm upset. She has no idea about what she did, either! Not like I'm going to tell her what she dumped out,...
I've gotta go, take care I'm sssssssooooooo mad!