After I got dropped off from the lock in the other night, around 6 a.m. I stayed iup, then went to work and got there an hour early, about 7 o'clock. I told my manager about the lockin and said, ok, I'm going to sleep now, please wake me up when I clock in (clock in at 8) she said go right ahead and showed me a booth to lie on and the said she got most of the things done already and that I could sleep till 8:30. Then she forgot about me, I jusrt thought that was so nice and understanding of her, though to let me sleep like that. I slept that night on a church pew for a couple of hours, and then later in a booth at work. I'm weird, I got some sleep, though yet I was still tired all day.
Then that night, well, RJ and I were finally going to go on a date, to dinner believe it or not, and Ray, his froend was going to drive, and then he had invited another friend Phil.. I was pissed, why are you inviting people on our first dat? He got pissed, saying if you don't like my friends then this relationship wont work. I said I never said I didn't like his friends and tried to explain to the guy and also I'd be uncomfortable and also that my mom said if all of those guys were going I couldn't. He said he didn't care what mom said, that he was going, because he was his friend. I said, well, then I may not be able to go. He then said the relationship wouldn't work if I had this over protective mother and it' a little kid relationship,.... Mom, my mom, over protective??? She couldn't give a flying f*** what happens to us!!! I didn't bother trying that one, after he had his friends get on the phone and tell me to figure out what in the hell I was doing and let them know, and said some other mean stuff to me, I hung up with them, went calmly downstairs, trying not to cry and said mom, look. You have to let me go. I'll take your cell phone with me, be back whenever, I don't care,... PLEASE. SShe said be back by ten thirty and I'm going to talk to them. I said fine. Went in the other room, called them back, RJ had his froend that was going to drive get on the phone to ask me if I was going to help his friend (RJ) out and make some action in his back seat. I said I don't know, although even my voice was saying no. Later my sister came while I was waiting for them. I went out, ran to hug her and cried and cried, told her that I waiting to go out to dinner with my new boyfriend,... She could tell I really hated the idea of going. I got ready anyway and I looked nice, not sexy but if I wanted tyo I could've tured jhim on with it. It was like being forced to marry a guy knowing I didn't want was coming and yet not being able to do anything but put the dreaded wedding dress on and cry the whole time, and shake.
Appearantly, the friend didn't like the answer he got with the sex question and so he called back when they should've been there and he said well, we decided not to come and get you because quite frankly, I didn't like your additude with me. I said ok,... He said well, now we're going out together alone. I just camly said, have fun. Then looked at the phone, hung up on the blank, then while just standing there with my mom, cilla and delores looking, hysterically threw the phone in the room, ran, threw my purse I had ready for the dinner somewhere, in the bathroom I think, ran out the back door.
Delores, my older sis came out and said want to talk? I said no, leave me alone, I mean, I was outside crying and screaming really loud, and then mom came out and she said why did he cancel, I looked at her, and screamed like this: go... a.... WAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! She finally took the hint and went inside, I jumped onto the grass form the porch railing, then ran to the front of the house, tan up the street, ran to the school we live near and cilla goes to, and ran back,... finally went inside.
Tonight, well, sunday night I cutt myself, I was looking at this glass, and all of a sudden, I just went and slashed my left wrist., when I noticed it and the blood ooozing out, well, I just didn't care, cried some more. Thought I don't give a **** and squezzed some more blood out then went to do laundry, cilla's dad came down and so I hurried up and covered it ith a towel, I am going to keep my glass and they're with the laxatives, tomorrow at school, I'll use it if I need to, after I embarass the lazy selfish horny blank that I got hurt by and put in pain from. I'll tell everyone about hat happened. I'll skip either class I have with him if I need to,... I'll do whatever I feel like. I just don't care. I can't care,... it hurts too damn much I'm tired of this stuff.
Then that night, well, RJ and I were finally going to go on a date, to dinner believe it or not, and Ray, his froend was going to drive, and then he had invited another friend Phil.. I was pissed, why are you inviting people on our first dat? He got pissed, saying if you don't like my friends then this relationship wont work. I said I never said I didn't like his friends and tried to explain to the guy and also I'd be uncomfortable and also that my mom said if all of those guys were going I couldn't. He said he didn't care what mom said, that he was going, because he was his friend. I said, well, then I may not be able to go. He then said the relationship wouldn't work if I had this over protective mother and it' a little kid relationship,.... Mom, my mom, over protective??? She couldn't give a flying f*** what happens to us!!! I didn't bother trying that one, after he had his friends get on the phone and tell me to figure out what in the hell I was doing and let them know, and said some other mean stuff to me, I hung up with them, went calmly downstairs, trying not to cry and said mom, look. You have to let me go. I'll take your cell phone with me, be back whenever, I don't care,... PLEASE. SShe said be back by ten thirty and I'm going to talk to them. I said fine. Went in the other room, called them back, RJ had his froend that was going to drive get on the phone to ask me if I was going to help his friend (RJ) out and make some action in his back seat. I said I don't know, although even my voice was saying no. Later my sister came while I was waiting for them. I went out, ran to hug her and cried and cried, told her that I waiting to go out to dinner with my new boyfriend,... She could tell I really hated the idea of going. I got ready anyway and I looked nice, not sexy but if I wanted tyo I could've tured jhim on with it. It was like being forced to marry a guy knowing I didn't want was coming and yet not being able to do anything but put the dreaded wedding dress on and cry the whole time, and shake.
Appearantly, the friend didn't like the answer he got with the sex question and so he called back when they should've been there and he said well, we decided not to come and get you because quite frankly, I didn't like your additude with me. I said ok,... He said well, now we're going out together alone. I just camly said, have fun. Then looked at the phone, hung up on the blank, then while just standing there with my mom, cilla and delores looking, hysterically threw the phone in the room, ran, threw my purse I had ready for the dinner somewhere, in the bathroom I think, ran out the back door.
Delores, my older sis came out and said want to talk? I said no, leave me alone, I mean, I was outside crying and screaming really loud, and then mom came out and she said why did he cancel, I looked at her, and screamed like this: go... a.... WAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! She finally took the hint and went inside, I jumped onto the grass form the porch railing, then ran to the front of the house, tan up the street, ran to the school we live near and cilla goes to, and ran back,... finally went inside.
Tonight, well, sunday night I cutt myself, I was looking at this glass, and all of a sudden, I just went and slashed my left wrist., when I noticed it and the blood ooozing out, well, I just didn't care, cried some more. Thought I don't give a **** and squezzed some more blood out then went to do laundry, cilla's dad came down and so I hurried up and covered it ith a towel, I am going to keep my glass and they're with the laxatives, tomorrow at school, I'll use it if I need to, after I embarass the lazy selfish horny blank that I got hurt by and put in pain from. I'll tell everyone about hat happened. I'll skip either class I have with him if I need to,... I'll do whatever I feel like. I just don't care. I can't care,... it hurts too damn much I'm tired of this stuff.