Right now I have all a's in my classes, today I swam even though I had a note to not, because of my ears again for another week, the swelling was down but it was still red and I noticed when very very carefully cleaning them out a little with q tips that my infected ear it was bigger and had mpre room for the q tip to get into and my left ear had a smaller space and stuff. I was careful, the water wasn't too cold and the shower was very nice and hot.
I just got back from going to wendys to eat. I wanted to go back since I quit but was scared, I was so scared that getting money out was hard, my hands were shaking kind of bad. They were nice to me. Not that they had to be or anything, I mean, I did quit.
Today I had a lot going on, I am still working on stuff for school from last quarter and working instead of sleping a lot today, even if I did get about 2 hours of sleep. I dozed off in a couple of classes, but so. :) It does bother me, but I really can't seem to stop it sometimes, so I guess I'm pretending it doesn't bug me.
Brian, he asked me about his girlfriend staying the night with me next saturday, I have no problem with that, if they are planning on doing stuff together I'd have a problem with that, though. I mean, really! And she has no idea, it's strange.
Not to be nasty, but this weekend I had, let's say some stomach probs. and it feels huger then before, I wonder if maybe since I hope to get preg, that it may be that,. I'm not sure on what to expect. I may go and buy a test tonight. but I don't know how I'm going to feel if it's negative, it'll upset me so bad. and I know what I'll do I'll think then my stomach is bigger for nothing. And then I'm not going to eat,. when I have wanted to do that lately, I ate insytead, pretending that it was for the baby. I mean, everytiome I do anything, stretch, sit up, lay on my stomach, eat, drink, throw up, et cetera, I think what if I am going to have one? I would not mind gaining weight for a healthy baby, but as soon as the pregnancy is over, if it's there, I'll be skinnier then ever, I will think of how fat I was.
If I am preg, I won't be able to go to kings island this summer, Paul, I'll have to take slow but long walks, rest more then I think I'm able right now, try to quit smoking, and eat. That'll be the hardest for me, to eat right and enough for the baby and not for myself,. but also to keep it down. I also need to start working soon and think of something for a car, I will be tight with money, and I also have to think, with the divorce I heard there will be a settlement soon, and if that's true we will have to move out into an apartment in about three months. I've lived here all of my life, but dad will get the house back and mom, teri and I will have to move and cramp up, there'd be no room for a baby! but maybe if I am by then I will be able to stay with dad since there is more room, I don't knpow. I have been thinking about the good and bad things lately about being p, and I have protective sex now so if I'm not there won't be a chance of it for a while. Oh, Brian is talking to his gf and he was talking about a baby that might be his, he has a daughter and maybe a son, and he just said I'm praying it's not mine. :(
Well, if I get a test it'll be soon so I'll let dear diary know soon I'll feel weird if I'm not and I wrote that much about being preg. maybe already. I want to be still. I don't know. bye for now
I just got back from going to wendys to eat. I wanted to go back since I quit but was scared, I was so scared that getting money out was hard, my hands were shaking kind of bad. They were nice to me. Not that they had to be or anything, I mean, I did quit.
Today I had a lot going on, I am still working on stuff for school from last quarter and working instead of sleping a lot today, even if I did get about 2 hours of sleep. I dozed off in a couple of classes, but so. :) It does bother me, but I really can't seem to stop it sometimes, so I guess I'm pretending it doesn't bug me.
Brian, he asked me about his girlfriend staying the night with me next saturday, I have no problem with that, if they are planning on doing stuff together I'd have a problem with that, though. I mean, really! And she has no idea, it's strange.
Not to be nasty, but this weekend I had, let's say some stomach probs. and it feels huger then before, I wonder if maybe since I hope to get preg, that it may be that,. I'm not sure on what to expect. I may go and buy a test tonight. but I don't know how I'm going to feel if it's negative, it'll upset me so bad. and I know what I'll do I'll think then my stomach is bigger for nothing. And then I'm not going to eat,. when I have wanted to do that lately, I ate insytead, pretending that it was for the baby. I mean, everytiome I do anything, stretch, sit up, lay on my stomach, eat, drink, throw up, et cetera, I think what if I am going to have one? I would not mind gaining weight for a healthy baby, but as soon as the pregnancy is over, if it's there, I'll be skinnier then ever, I will think of how fat I was.
If I am preg, I won't be able to go to kings island this summer, Paul, I'll have to take slow but long walks, rest more then I think I'm able right now, try to quit smoking, and eat. That'll be the hardest for me, to eat right and enough for the baby and not for myself,. but also to keep it down. I also need to start working soon and think of something for a car, I will be tight with money, and I also have to think, with the divorce I heard there will be a settlement soon, and if that's true we will have to move out into an apartment in about three months. I've lived here all of my life, but dad will get the house back and mom, teri and I will have to move and cramp up, there'd be no room for a baby! but maybe if I am by then I will be able to stay with dad since there is more room, I don't knpow. I have been thinking about the good and bad things lately about being p, and I have protective sex now so if I'm not there won't be a chance of it for a while. Oh, Brian is talking to his gf and he was talking about a baby that might be his, he has a daughter and maybe a son, and he just said I'm praying it's not mine. :(
Well, if I get a test it'll be soon so I'll let dear diary know soon I'll feel weird if I'm not and I wrote that much about being preg. maybe already. I want to be still. I don't know. bye for now