YouSaidIShouldWriteABook
Blah blah blah

great week
Fri Mar 23 2001

Steve made up or chart that we use to show me some logic, that I know already but can't help. He says when I'm feeling good like by doing things that even kindergardners do, normal things like sleeping, eating right, that I'm happier. On my chart I have more positive points and I'm looking and feeling good when doing the right stuff.
For example, when I have only been going to sleep after midnight, only eat maybe half the time, like 3 meals in 7 days, that's less then half but you know, and when I purge most of that time, well, I look sick, and I have dark baggy circles under my eyes and stuff, well, that's how I look when we fill out the chart and I have earned myself mostly negative points.
I have been extremely happy this week and doing different things like quitting wendys and stuff, I made the bus every single school day, I slept more then usual in school because I still haven't been sleeping and one day, this guy in my class said something, he saw that I had cigerettes in my purse and said you smoke, and ou're an narcaleptic? He pantomimed me with a cigg. hanging out of my mouth and nodding off at the same time. Everyone laughed, we had to leave, the bell rung. I left without looking at my teacher who felt sorry for me, and was going to say something. She told the guy to mind his own buisness and to leave me alone. I thought of Brian.
Anyway it's been such a nice week, and today was great, it's friday, early release at school, and I got out earlier to go to the doctors and the doc. said that my ear was better, like the school nurse said earlier, too.
I hope that me and Brian gets pregnant. I mean it, he doesn't want me to say anything, he wants to have a sex only relationship. I want a baby, I will either have and keep or have and have adopted by someone who can, but if I keep the baby if I have one, he'll get out of my life and he will pay child support, or we'll stay friends. I don't know, I've been content and happy though, and feeling a natural high and I feel good, I'm glad to when I do, I only have one life and if it's going to suck because of dumb choices I make, I want at least a little bit of times to liek savor.
Today after school I took a 2 hour nap. Then Cilla woke me up, we went ice skating and played games and had fun and I need to watch it I don't have that much money and until I get a job,.. all of the money I have will go to drivers ed I'm taking maybe tomorrow. I better go soon take care
oh, I think that I'm going to cal these people that came in to our child development classes to talk to us about kids, and stds and pregnancy s and just ask questions, I don't want to take a test yet, I'll be so dissapointed to find out I'm not, so I';ll wait well bye for now
1 Comment
  • From:
    Lexa (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Mar 24 2001
    Being pregnant is not all it's cracked up to be kiddo. I'm three months pregnant and I hate it. And if you hate eating, then I wouldn't do it yet. Not till you can eat at least five times a week minimum. I can't believe the amount of food this baby is consuming. You have to eat like four or five times A DAY to keep the baby healthy and well.

    Being a mother will be a big responsibility and saying that you'd adopt it out if you can't look after it is not a good reason to have a baby. At least have a baby with someone who cares about you, not how many times he can get his end in.

    You sound like a nice kid, don't ruin your life just yet by taking on a responsibility you're not ready for yet. I'm 25 and still questioning this pregnancy. Wait a little while, make some money and become independent first. There's plenty of time.

    Blessings,
    Lexa
    http://lexag.deardiary.net