Today is my last day at the place I have called and felt like I was at home in for the last two weeks. I don't know exactly what I really should be feeling now, I am everything, I am sad, scared to death about what will end up happening, I have absolutely no clue to where I'll really be living, 7 days a week, untill I go into the Pryde foster care,... I don't even know what bus to take when I go back to school and where it'll be dropping me off at! I am scared, but ready, and I also have no choice anymore, but I'm trusting a lot of people to help me, like they have already and put me where they know will be best.
One of thje girls, another resident, she said somethimg today about me referring to "the house" as home. I said, it has been home for me, I have been showering, sleeping, eating, cooking, making my bed, reading, watching tv here, helping pick out gro=ceries for this palce for the last two weeks, it has been home. I should be really glad that I'm leaving, but I have some feelings inside me that say otherwise, I mean, I'm accepting that I'm not allowed to stay here for more then two weeks, I am accepting that I need to go back in some kind of reality, and I know that because I like it there they will never ever let me go back if I need to, it's a way places work.
Right now qwe're on an outing, to the library downtown, and I'm glad, we did this last tuesday too, i CAN USE TYHE INTRRNET HERE. i HAVE TO HURRY THOUGH IF i WANT US TO GET BACK IN TIME FOR MY DAD TO PICK ME UP, sorry about the caps, but I don't know, I will do wehatever itt tkaes to make whomever manages to let me live with them happy about the decision, but I also will not let Delores doi certain things that only make me upset to where we start arquing, like, for one, there really is a timeand a place where we can talk about certain things, the other day on pass inthe car, i weas really upset about something, I felt it, and Iasked to get out of the unmoving parked car fopr a minute, she said no, you'll stay in here and talk about it, what happened? I used my energy up by screaming and crying and cussing, and then I felt better, because I was going to try and crawl through this itty bitty window in the back when she said no, except I knew my fat self would get stuck. She needs to learn that in order to talk to someone about whatever is making them steaming mad, she needs to learn how to wait until they cooled off a little and not just get into this struggle wiith them, I don't want to teach her the hard way, mother was easier, she just ignored us, opr declared that she was right, sahe was the authority, she was this, and stuff like that, and thought that made her right. Ha.
I'm going to email, mno, nmo time, I'm going to start looking for everyone so we can go, it will take too long otherwise. I'm steaming now, ebcuse I have trieds for a week to tell Delores stuff like that.
One of thje girls, another resident, she said somethimg today about me referring to "the house" as home. I said, it has been home for me, I have been showering, sleeping, eating, cooking, making my bed, reading, watching tv here, helping pick out gro=ceries for this palce for the last two weeks, it has been home. I should be really glad that I'm leaving, but I have some feelings inside me that say otherwise, I mean, I'm accepting that I'm not allowed to stay here for more then two weeks, I am accepting that I need to go back in some kind of reality, and I know that because I like it there they will never ever let me go back if I need to, it's a way places work.
Right now qwe're on an outing, to the library downtown, and I'm glad, we did this last tuesday too, i CAN USE TYHE INTRRNET HERE. i HAVE TO HURRY THOUGH IF i WANT US TO GET BACK IN TIME FOR MY DAD TO PICK ME UP, sorry about the caps, but I don't know, I will do wehatever itt tkaes to make whomever manages to let me live with them happy about the decision, but I also will not let Delores doi certain things that only make me upset to where we start arquing, like, for one, there really is a timeand a place where we can talk about certain things, the other day on pass inthe car, i weas really upset about something, I felt it, and Iasked to get out of the unmoving parked car fopr a minute, she said no, you'll stay in here and talk about it, what happened? I used my energy up by screaming and crying and cussing, and then I felt better, because I was going to try and crawl through this itty bitty window in the back when she said no, except I knew my fat self would get stuck. She needs to learn that in order to talk to someone about whatever is making them steaming mad, she needs to learn how to wait until they cooled off a little and not just get into this struggle wiith them, I don't want to teach her the hard way, mother was easier, she just ignored us, opr declared that she was right, sahe was the authority, she was this, and stuff like that, and thought that made her right. Ha.
I'm going to email, mno, nmo time, I'm going to start looking for everyone so we can go, it will take too long otherwise. I'm steaming now, ebcuse I have trieds for a week to tell Delores stuff like that.