Right now all I want to do is cry and cry, and cry and CRY.
Last night I stayed the night with my older half sister and I went to sleep after taking my pill around 9 and woke up at about 4. By 6 both Delores and I arrived at work it was my first day at perkins and I was being trained by mostly Delores but everyone else, too, as a cashier and a hostess, I also did other things, too. I liked it today, but the weekends are a little hard, we got busy, which menat for a while I was bored since I'm still new at it, and the manager came in late and she too over the register and I can say that I know how to ring them out and I know how to do the transactions with the credit cards, too. Oh, well.
It was nice, And then at home, while Delores, my ooldre sis, her and I looked to see what groceries to get, I swear, my mom hasn't only been to the store a few times in the last year, all she get is bread, coffe, and milk and water. Or mabe some cereal, or a package of some kind of lunchmeat. She's lazy, gambles too much, and doesn't care. Over half of the baove mentioned things don't mind my typing, i took my trazodone and I'm sleepy now, but those things she gets for her. Our bread gets stale and moldy and our refrigerator, I'm not even e=zaggereating, was completely bare, except for things like condimants, cathsup, mayo, soy sauce. I love soy sauce, I think I'm addited to salt.
We had some weird looking meat i the freezer adn we bought it, probably my Grandma, in october last yera.
Anyway, at forst I'
ll explain more later when not so drugged up, but let's say I saw a glimpse of Jose, the cps had him and were letting him pee before going to jail. I'm home alone, and very depressed, noone understands, the only good thing is that I am babysitting Catlin right now, she's fast asleep on the coch, but after this I'm waking her up and I'mgoing to change her, give her some juice, put her in her sleeperm, and lay down with her, we both need to sleep and I have to be at work again tomorrow, I ate lot today, I'm trying, really! and I've noticed I am always crossing my arms across my waist, as if to protect a baby. I hope so. night I'll try to write more later I feel like this: :( I'll be ok though I just wonder what is going on with Jose? I'm feeling guilty and just sad. He raped me, and it's not my fault, but it's not like I'm this innocent virgin, either, I got him in trouble I hate myself for that
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Ok, I can explain more now, even though I just swallowed my pill,... some weird things happened after work for my first toime sat. all me and Delores was doing was checking to see what grioceries to buy and well, we found out that a friend was in town from florida. we saw him and he said that jose has been here all along, after the rape the police gave him a warrant to be arrested and they thought he was in mexico. So our friend went to his apartment, an undercover cop drove him, and the unifprmed cops arrested him. That was their second rapist they caught, I feel terrible, he's in jail till we go to court. I won;'t be able to do it emotionally. We saw him through the door of the cops car before he and the cops came and and we hid behind a corner and then thropugh the open bathroom door, the cop holding it waved to us while we were trying to sneak out w/o him seeing us. It was a depressing night, luckily I wasn't totally alone, I got to baaysitt.
Last night I stayed the night with my older half sister and I went to sleep after taking my pill around 9 and woke up at about 4. By 6 both Delores and I arrived at work it was my first day at perkins and I was being trained by mostly Delores but everyone else, too, as a cashier and a hostess, I also did other things, too. I liked it today, but the weekends are a little hard, we got busy, which menat for a while I was bored since I'm still new at it, and the manager came in late and she too over the register and I can say that I know how to ring them out and I know how to do the transactions with the credit cards, too. Oh, well.
It was nice, And then at home, while Delores, my ooldre sis, her and I looked to see what groceries to get, I swear, my mom hasn't only been to the store a few times in the last year, all she get is bread, coffe, and milk and water. Or mabe some cereal, or a package of some kind of lunchmeat. She's lazy, gambles too much, and doesn't care. Over half of the baove mentioned things don't mind my typing, i took my trazodone and I'm sleepy now, but those things she gets for her. Our bread gets stale and moldy and our refrigerator, I'm not even e=zaggereating, was completely bare, except for things like condimants, cathsup, mayo, soy sauce. I love soy sauce, I think I'm addited to salt.
We had some weird looking meat i the freezer adn we bought it, probably my Grandma, in october last yera.
Anyway, at forst I'
ll explain more later when not so drugged up, but let's say I saw a glimpse of Jose, the cps had him and were letting him pee before going to jail. I'm home alone, and very depressed, noone understands, the only good thing is that I am babysitting Catlin right now, she's fast asleep on the coch, but after this I'm waking her up and I'mgoing to change her, give her some juice, put her in her sleeperm, and lay down with her, we both need to sleep and I have to be at work again tomorrow, I ate lot today, I'm trying, really! and I've noticed I am always crossing my arms across my waist, as if to protect a baby. I hope so. night I'll try to write more later I feel like this: :( I'll be ok though I just wonder what is going on with Jose? I'm feeling guilty and just sad. He raped me, and it's not my fault, but it's not like I'm this innocent virgin, either, I got him in trouble I hate myself for that
********************************************************************************
Ok, I can explain more now, even though I just swallowed my pill,... some weird things happened after work for my first toime sat. all me and Delores was doing was checking to see what grioceries to buy and well, we found out that a friend was in town from florida. we saw him and he said that jose has been here all along, after the rape the police gave him a warrant to be arrested and they thought he was in mexico. So our friend went to his apartment, an undercover cop drove him, and the unifprmed cops arrested him. That was their second rapist they caught, I feel terrible, he's in jail till we go to court. I won;'t be able to do it emotionally. We saw him through the door of the cops car before he and the cops came and and we hid behind a corner and then thropugh the open bathroom door, the cop holding it waved to us while we were trying to sneak out w/o him seeing us. It was a depressing night, luckily I wasn't totally alone, I got to baaysitt.