Last night it took me forever to get to sleep, I was SO depressed! I was trying to read this book, Laughing in the Dark, just to fall asleep, laying in mom's bed, since she fell asleep on the couch. I finally did put the book up and fall asleep, it was very late.
Today I slept in, missed the bus, but didn't care. I wanted to sleep longer, mom could yell all she wants to. I was tired.
Teri asked mom if she could stay home until later when she had drivers ed so that she could sleep, she had church, babysitting and drivers ed tonight, and was tired just thinking about it all. Mom let her, which was ok with me, she has barey missed any days of school, so fair was fair. She also had stuff to do at home, like laundry, and needed time to do everything, because she get's tired at night and sleeps like a normal person, Lucky.
So I get to school late, I think it was third bell and my teacher as usual had this bad additude with me, I can't make her any more mad then I manage to now, someow, I'm nice and I work hard around her but she had already set bad judgment for me. I feel so sorry for her, I hope she doesn't treat every student that way.
Anyways, I go to lunch and buy some gross food, walked out to the courtyard and ended up sitting by Amber and David, I didn't even try to go see the nurse like usual, too many security guards.
I was so depreesed that I felt sick and really couldn't eat. (hey, I did buy a lunch, and it was my own money, too, so it's not like I was not going to eat to try to start starving myself) Some girls, a really sweet one name Monica I talked to once when I was in the nurses office and she was going home sick, Andrea, the boy that lived with us, Brians gf at that time, and Sophia came by. Sophia tried to start some shit with me, accusing me of calling her boyfriend that (Thank God) broke up with me, a very controlling animal that I didn't have the nerve to tell him I didn't want to go out with him anymore, the one I lost my virginty too, which I thought until I was raped and actually saw my virginity go) anyway, I was like, I don't even know where he moved to, how would I have called him, she thinks that they are actually engaged, and said, well, I believe the man I'm enagged to, I rolled my eyes and said why would I lie? She still tried to piss me off by saying, well, I trust him, I'm engaged to him, why would HE lie? then she and her two sidekicks I really feel sorry for walked away. I was already upset myself, having to tell my best friend goodbye and just dealing with the weight on my shoulders already, so while she walked away, I have been trying to eat some popcorn, that smart food stuff, and I grabbed a handfull out of the bag, crumpled it up a little, then threw it on the ground. my friends, david and Amber, asked me what was wrong, I said, I'm depressed, they said, oh. Then I said do you guys want this? gave them the food, and they kept talking to each other, That was ok, I was feeling depressed anyway. I already felt alone. Who cares???
So after lunch I dragged myself to my math class, corrected my homework, then wrote a letter to ms. B, then borrowed an agenda book, left,. found her, gave it to her, of course that took so long that everyone was already going to their next class by the time I went back to get my stuff, I sheepishly apologized to my teacher and then was surprised when she said it's ok. wow.
During my last class a sercurity gaurd came to get me, telling me that Ms/ B wanted to talk to me. I went to the office and she and my guidance counselor was there, she hd read the note already. She had highlighted the parts in it that said stuff like how, I just feel so depressed today that I want to go home and take some sleeping pills and just sleep the rest of the night, anyway, she took that as a possible suicide attempt later on and so soon after Steve and Gracie picked me up and then they were trying to ge6 a hold of dhs, dept of child servies, and then getting ahold of someone who would be able to sign me in the place I agreed to try, the crisis respite I went to, they got dad to, wanted to wait to talk to mom, so they couldn't get in trouble for kidnapping me by taking me somewhere without permission.
Gracie drove me home for like 5 minutes and I packed, and we left. Mom came to the house not too long after, from the boat, which is one reason she is a qualified unfit mother, her gambling addiction. She also went back there when she left.I met two nice residents there, ate pizza for dinner, took my medicine, had a nice sleep and woke up at about 8.
Today I slept in, missed the bus, but didn't care. I wanted to sleep longer, mom could yell all she wants to. I was tired.
Teri asked mom if she could stay home until later when she had drivers ed so that she could sleep, she had church, babysitting and drivers ed tonight, and was tired just thinking about it all. Mom let her, which was ok with me, she has barey missed any days of school, so fair was fair. She also had stuff to do at home, like laundry, and needed time to do everything, because she get's tired at night and sleeps like a normal person, Lucky.
So I get to school late, I think it was third bell and my teacher as usual had this bad additude with me, I can't make her any more mad then I manage to now, someow, I'm nice and I work hard around her but she had already set bad judgment for me. I feel so sorry for her, I hope she doesn't treat every student that way.
Anyways, I go to lunch and buy some gross food, walked out to the courtyard and ended up sitting by Amber and David, I didn't even try to go see the nurse like usual, too many security guards.
I was so depreesed that I felt sick and really couldn't eat. (hey, I did buy a lunch, and it was my own money, too, so it's not like I was not going to eat to try to start starving myself) Some girls, a really sweet one name Monica I talked to once when I was in the nurses office and she was going home sick, Andrea, the boy that lived with us, Brians gf at that time, and Sophia came by. Sophia tried to start some shit with me, accusing me of calling her boyfriend that (Thank God) broke up with me, a very controlling animal that I didn't have the nerve to tell him I didn't want to go out with him anymore, the one I lost my virginty too, which I thought until I was raped and actually saw my virginity go) anyway, I was like, I don't even know where he moved to, how would I have called him, she thinks that they are actually engaged, and said, well, I believe the man I'm enagged to, I rolled my eyes and said why would I lie? She still tried to piss me off by saying, well, I trust him, I'm engaged to him, why would HE lie? then she and her two sidekicks I really feel sorry for walked away. I was already upset myself, having to tell my best friend goodbye and just dealing with the weight on my shoulders already, so while she walked away, I have been trying to eat some popcorn, that smart food stuff, and I grabbed a handfull out of the bag, crumpled it up a little, then threw it on the ground. my friends, david and Amber, asked me what was wrong, I said, I'm depressed, they said, oh. Then I said do you guys want this? gave them the food, and they kept talking to each other, That was ok, I was feeling depressed anyway. I already felt alone. Who cares???
So after lunch I dragged myself to my math class, corrected my homework, then wrote a letter to ms. B, then borrowed an agenda book, left,. found her, gave it to her, of course that took so long that everyone was already going to their next class by the time I went back to get my stuff, I sheepishly apologized to my teacher and then was surprised when she said it's ok. wow.
During my last class a sercurity gaurd came to get me, telling me that Ms/ B wanted to talk to me. I went to the office and she and my guidance counselor was there, she hd read the note already. She had highlighted the parts in it that said stuff like how, I just feel so depressed today that I want to go home and take some sleeping pills and just sleep the rest of the night, anyway, she took that as a possible suicide attempt later on and so soon after Steve and Gracie picked me up and then they were trying to ge6 a hold of dhs, dept of child servies, and then getting ahold of someone who would be able to sign me in the place I agreed to try, the crisis respite I went to, they got dad to, wanted to wait to talk to mom, so they couldn't get in trouble for kidnapping me by taking me somewhere without permission.
Gracie drove me home for like 5 minutes and I packed, and we left. Mom came to the house not too long after, from the boat, which is one reason she is a qualified unfit mother, her gambling addiction. She also went back there when she left.I met two nice residents there, ate pizza for dinner, took my medicine, had a nice sleep and woke up at about 8.