( Oh boy, here she goes. . . )
Yeah, I know. But what can I tell you, it’s on my mind today.
Underwear is one of those things that you can really let go, because let’s face it, nobody sees it that much but you. So the stuff can get pretty ratty before we decide to do something about it. I realized the other day while riffling through my underwear drawer looking for something decent to wear that I bought one of the garments in there 7 years ago ! ( I remember because I was on vacation at the time ) I figure it’s time to replace it.
The only thing is when I stroll through the undergarment departments in stores, (not to buy you understand, just to see what they have) I become completely paralyzed by the complexity of women’s underwear. There are high rise, low rise, bikini, basic and thong briefs. There’s satin, silk, polyester, and good old cotton. Then there is the rack with the fake leopard skin undies that are so small you can wad them in a ball small enough to fit into a hollowed out golf ball. Who wears those? And they have the audacity to ask about 12 dollars for them ! And frankly I do not “grok” thongs. I took a good look at a pair once and really TRIED to imagine what it would be like to wear them. . .
I walked funny the rest of the day.
I always end up buying some cotton underwear the old regular kind with no bells or whistles. If I am feeling really risqué, I get ones with flowers on them. Woohoo !
Then we move on to the bra department. This is even worse. Everywhere you look there are these things with wire rigging in them that look very much like scaffolding for grapefruit or oranges, apricots ? or wishful thinking. I think the cutest ones are for the wishful thinking crowd, little lacy bits of frivolity that I am very fond of. But because I am averse to wires and all other forms of industrial gear on my body, and fall somewhere between the orange and apricot group, I opt for some form of modified sports bra. This has it’s own sub divisions too which must be sorted out and sifted through until you begin to get light headed and start to think that maybe you can get another 6 months worth of wear out of what is still in your undie drawer at home.
I have done this same exercise at several stores for a year or so and honestly, I HAVE to buy something soon.
Even though I have spoken of this before, I must say that too many choices freezes my analytical skills. Whether it be jams and jellies or undies, being overwhelmed with choices causes me to shut my pocketbook and head for the exit. I wonder if the corporate types know anything about shoppers like me? I bet I could hire myself out as an “overwhelmed consumer” consultant and they could work out a marketing scheme for people like me. In the back corner of the store there would be a section with white underwear like we used to wear in elementary school, and modified sports bra like things with flowers on them. That’s it. Okay, maybe we could put some knee socks over there too. White, navy and oh what the heck, RED ! But that’s it. No leopard skin, no hot pink, no iridescent snake skin, no wires or other industrial apparati . Can you imagine what a pleasant and simple shopping experience that would be ?
Shoot, I might even stock up !