Since I am here at home alone all day today, I am just going to update my diary from time to time during the day and post it as one entry. I apologize in advance for any incoherence of the following stuff. It is meant as an outlet for impressions of the day.
I am going on the record and may have to eat dirt later, but I think the guy they trotted out to make that statement after the bunker attack was a big fat phony Saddam look alike.
I am spending a fair amount of time mulling over the technological marvels of battlefield communications that we have now. It’s confusing. I think on one level it’s a good thing, we know what’s going on, but on another level all this openness could just be giving the enemy a great idea what we are up to. It would not hurt my feelings to find out what happened after it happened. I am a big girl, I can deal with that.
10:45
Looks like we are in the thick of it now. Things are blowing up in Baghdad.
I have been on the phone with a good friend for quite a while. It helps to talk to someone else during this mess.
For a conflicted technophobe I am barely recognizable today. In the other room, Fox News is on, in here I am listening to Dennis Prager on the radio, and I am typing into the computer at the same time. My multi-tasking skills must be improving….
12:26
Decided that cooking would make me feel better. So I am shuffling through recipes. Have rejected 17 already. They all seem too complicated. Instant Oatmeal might be okay. Boil some water… pour it over oatmeal. I think I could handle that…
2:02 pm
It is such a beautiful day here. The incongruity of it compared to what our troops are experiencing is jarring to the psyche. I think I have made up my mind. We are not supposed to watch wars on TV. It is too confusing. To watch war on the same medium that we watch “Fraiser” just does not seem right. I will say, that I am very thankful that Fox is not airing any commercials today. I don’t think I could handle jumping from the battlefield to toilet bowl cleaner advise.
The immediacy of the events we witness is not a good thing I think. Except. . . for the shared experience that we all have when we are focused on the same thing. It does seem to bring people together. But the artificial filter of TV gives me pause.
2:50pm
I figured it out. My anxiety about watching the TV is this. I was just watching a reporter who is in a hum vee giving a report from the battlefield. They have been under fire. I am afraid that while I am watching and listening to this guy, he is going to get killed. It brings back the trauma of watching the towers collapsing on 9-11. I don’t want to SEE somebody die. I am about ready to turn this TV off and just listen to the radio.
Those of you opposed to this war may say to me, SEE, war is bad, we shouldn’t do it. I disagree. The Butcher killed people almost every day, and we didn’t see it, so it was easy to ignore. We can’t ignore it any more. But watching people die in ANY circumstance is traumatic. This is why I am not a soldier.
3:34pm
I think one difference between a liberal and conservative view of the world is that liberals can’t think of anything that is worth dying for, and conservatives know that there are principles that ARE worth dying for. Like stopping oppressors and preventing those that want to do harm from doing so. It is messy, it is harsh, it is bloody, it can be fatal, but it is worth doing. Thank God there are people in the world willing to do this job. Policemen and firemen, rescue workers and soldiers put themselves in harms way every day in defense of ideas. Safety, freedom and compassion.
3:55 pm
I don’t know what the rest of the day will hold. But I do know that I am in awe of the bravery of our military men and women, and all those who stand with us today. I heard Tony Blair not long ago saying a few words of encouragement. They mean a lot to us here in America, as we are told so often what rabid uni-lateralists we are.
Well, that’s it for today. I hope to find my sense of humor by tomorrow. I could use a good laugh myself. . .