I feel lower than a flea’s knees this morning.
Wait a minute, I don’t want to talk about fleas.
I feel lower than a snake’s belly. . . That’s better. (Better? A snake’s belly is better?)
I am so conflicted about my own emotional state I cannot even decide on the proper metaphor to use. This is sad.
I feel so badly about our soldiers being tortured and executed. But this is war. And I guess that’s why they say “War is Hell.” I am beginning to think that this is Armageddon. The ultimate battle between good and evil.
I am having a hard time thinking clearly about it right now. I think I will go clean house. This seems to be therapy for more people than just myself. So many of you at DD have mentioned this as a helpful activity when having mental or emotional turmoil. It makes sense that it would help if our physical place is in order. Perhaps if we did not see chaos everywhere, it would give us a space to think clearer thoughts. I will give this theory a run for it’s money. Back later.
11:50 AM
I think the neaten up theory has merit. When we feel out of control in matters that are truly out of our hands, then controlling those that ARE at hand gives some comfort. A little laundry, a little housework, a little gardening, a nice talk with my mother, and no TV made for a fair morning. I DO listen to the radio. Dennis Prager, Bill O’Reilly, Michael Medved. Two Jews and a Catholic keep my world from spinning off into the double-speak of the networks and the sadly confused protester’s netherworld of misguided rhetoric.
Maybe we should start calling Baghdad – Mordor.
2:17
I turned on the TV. That was a mistake. At this point, there is so much speculation as to what is happening, what should be happening, what might be happening, that I kind of go whacky watching it. It’s not that it’s bad reporting. It’s just chaotic information as would be expected in a war. But who is used to watching war ?
But I tell you, let us be clear. I am not upset about war itself. I am upset with the Butcher of Baghdad for making the war necessary. He is on my short list.
3:29
Turned everything newslike off and started working on gourds. I cover gourds with handmade paper. Some is purchased paper, and some I make myself. Today I used both. I put a U2 cd in my computer and am listening to Joshua Tree. Sometimes I listen to it really loud. But today it is at a subdued level. My nerves are frayed enough. I have glued pressed dried maple leaves on one gourd and covered three little ones with yellow/orange paper that will look like pears when they are done. Someday, when I get some web space from my youngest son Benjamin, I will put some links to pictures in my diary. He is working on it. He had a hardrive meltdown not long ago and is recovering data from a friend. Computers, you gotta love ‘em.
3:48
I wish I could think of something really funny to write. ( I want to laugh too! ) The humorist’s hat is not even at the Little Desk in the Closet. I went in there to see. No luck. It’s not on the coat rack by the front door either. Nor even in the garden... although, I haven’t checked the cat box. . .
. . .yet.
I feel like I’ve lost the Sorting Hat at Hogwart’s. I need to find it soon, very soon. Heaven knows what Dumbledore would do to me if he finds out.